Same same, but... different

After a year in Korea, without seeing most of my friends of family, indeed, barely speaking to some of them thanks to the time difference and busy schedules, I often wonder if everyone at home has changed, or if I’ve changed. I secretly worry that I’ll go back and my friends won’t like who I am now, or that I won’t like them! So here’s a forewarning to my friends and family, and some personal reflection on the effects of a year in Kimchi land:

My English is terrible

Being surrounded by English learners and people whose first language is not English certainly affects the way I speak. I find myself saying “that’s OK” as an answer to everything, and using “why” far more often than necessary, even when I’m speaking to Ric or my American friends. Trying to make my young students understand me also means that I use strange sentence constructions that are terrible English, but I know they will understand. That’s bad of me, as a teacher, but sometimes getting them to follow an instruction is more important than exposing them to the English grammar in its full complexity. What’s more, having American friends, and having to speak “American English” at school, means that words like trash, movie, and sidewalk not pepper my speech.

I know more, yet I know nothing

I heard a quote once that “the more you travel, the less you know”, and it really does ring true for me. Here [in Korea] I’ve learnt so much: a new language, a new culture, and a history that I was never taught in school. And yet, this only serves to make me more aware of how little I actually know about the world, particularly the world outside of Europe.

I’m more submissive

Naturally, I am an assertive person who likes to be in control (read: bossy), but Korea’s patriarchy has inadvertently taught to me to be more laid back, thanks patriarchy.

Living in one of the most sexist countries in the world has seen me take a back seat and let Ric do the talking more than usual. So many times have I been ignored, whilst males spoke to Ric. I find this amusing, as my Korean is better then Ric’s, so while he wants me to do the talking for the two of us, the Koreans force him to blunder through the language. When I pay for something out of my money from my purse, the change gets handed to Ric. Important questions about our future are put to Ric, not to the both of us. In fact, I was never asked by my boss whether I wanted to renew my contract at the school, or whether I wanted to go home to England. All of those questions were addressed to Ric, in private conversations which I was not invited to partake in. Of course this isn’t to Ric’s taste; it makes him feel uncomfortable when I get ignored.

I find I let Ric give directions to taxi drivers, I let him order for me in restaurants and I let him take my change (as long as he gives it back!) As a feminist, I am outraged and appalled by the way men treat me in Korea, but as a person I think I’m better now I’m more laid back. Ric and I still have a very equal relationship, and it’s nice to let somebody else take the reigns… sometimes.