We Moved to Vietnam!

So it's been a few months since my last post and I was considering abandoning the thing all together because frankly, it's been almost five years and I was running out of steam. 

In the time since we left Burma we've moved to Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam. We've found an apartment to live in, traded in our baggy traveler pants for smart work clothes, interviewed at dozens of language schools, got jobs, made new friends and started to feel settled in this new chapter of our lives.

Sunset over the CBD

All of that doesn't particularly make for very exciting reading, but there are some aspects of life in Vietnam that I'd quite like to share, for they make me smile and they make me very happy to be here.

So, to kick start my blog writing, here are a few of the quirks of Vietnam;

We have possibly the nicest landlady ever, she randomly gives us crates of beer and boxes of kitchen ware.

When I bought insecticide to wage war against the ants in our apartment... it came with a free toothbrush.

Just about anything imaginable gets transported around the city on a motorbike. 

Goldfish shop?

Our stylish, modern apartment came with bright pink Hello Kitty bed sheets.

I have a student called Tim Septic Eye. Ric has a student who calls himself Spider Hulk.

It costs us a whole £0.45 to go to the local swimming pool for the afternoon.

We have a rice cooker for the first time ever and were amazed to find you can cook anything in it - not just rice! We've used it to cook chicken breasts, scrambled eggs. pasta, salsa, chili, veggies... it's the best kitchen appliance ever!

There are TVs encased in urinals.

There's one website, in English, that has every type of food listing imaginable, and they deliver it to your door.

There are Korean jjimjilbangs here. The one thing we miss most about Korea.

You can find people in the river, catching eels, right next to the Central Business District. 

That's all for now :)

Parting Thoughts on Vietnam

We spent a seven weeks in Vietnam, travelling from the most southerly tip in the Mekong Delta to the mountainous border with China in the North. It’s easy to see how the country was once divided in two as the north and the south are very different. As we travelled north, each town was a different experience; the food is very regional and the local dishes are the fantastic, the food that is common to all of Vietnam isn’t as good. The language in the north is different to that in the south too, which adds yet another layer of difficulty to a language that already has six different tones and variations according to age, sex and social standing.

Like China, Vietnam has a restriction on the number of children you can have. In order to control population growth the government has imposed a two child policy. For government workers this is very significant; having more than two children could lead to you losing your job. Another similarity with China is that social networks are illegal in Vietnam; however, technology is developing faster than Communism, like in China, facebook is available almost everywhere.

The Vietnamese want to have white skin even more so than the Koreans. I found it so hard to find moisturiser without bleach that I ended up buying Jonson’s baby cream. Clothes are designed to shield every inch of skin from the sun: jackets with built-in face masks, sleeves that taper off into a point to cover the fingers, skin coloured socks, even floor length aprons worn to cover legs when on motorbikes. Given the tropical climate of the country it’s amazing how much clothing people endure to hide away from the sun.

The people in Vietnam worship their ancestors. Every house has a shrine where the ancestors’ spirits go to rest. The Vietnamese take this very seriously. The shrines can be anything from a simple wooden box, a bit like a bird box, to an elaborate gold plated monument that takes up an entire floor of the building. Whatever the design, the shrines always have incense burning and an offering of some food, drink and money. For most Vietnamese the ancestors play a part in everyday life; prayers are said asking for good luck and the ancestors are consulted for all important decisions. Families don’t tend to move house in Vietnam as this would mean leaving behind the ancestors and this would bring eternal bad luck. For this reason there are still many relatively poor families living in Hanoi’s most prime real estate. Our couchsurfing hosts told us that the lady who they rent their house from still comes once a month to pray to her ancestors’ at the family shrine on their roof.

Houses in Vietnam tend to be very narrow and high, some as small as 2m wide. When the Communist North Vietnamese Army won the war and reunited the north and south, homes were divided to give each family a piece of property. Today, the wider the house the higher its value as the front facing the street can be used as a shop.

The Vietnamese people were, in general, really happy to see us. We always felt welcome and hellos followed us down the street in even the quietest little towns. However, compared to Cambodians, the Vietnamese seemed more business minded were more inclined to try and rip us for a couple of dollars at any given opportunity.

Vietnam is very cheap, we were easily able to stay under our $50 daily budget. For example, for $1 (£0.60) you can get:

• Two bottled beers or;
• Four fresh bia hoi*
• Three litres of water
• A short ride on a moto-taxi
• Noodle soup
• Entrance to a museum
• A filter coffee with milk
• A hired bicycle for the day
• A pair of sunglasses
• A cut-throat shave at the side of the road
• A hair cut (men)
• A pair of earrings

*Bia hoi is a local brew that has a 24 hour shelf life. It isn’t very strong but it's dirt cheap. Local people enjoy homemade bia hoi at street stalls and bars in the north of Vietnam.

The majority of budget hotels cost $8-10 (£4.80-£6) for a double room. That’s slightly more than what you might pay in India or Cambodia but for $10 in Vietnam you get a much nicer room with a fridge, cable TV, air conditioning, wardrobe, toiletries, and bottled water. 

$8 room in Da Lat.

ATM machines in Vietman 

Going from Vietnam to Laos, The Hard Way

The journey from Sapa, Vietnam, to Muang Khua, Laos, was a long one; it was often uncomfortable and at times frustrating but we were also able to see some of the most stunning scenery in the region.

We started at 7am in Sapa, in a minibus that sped around hairpin mountain passes as if it could defy gravity. The morning was probably one of the clearest we had during our five days in Sapa and the views over Mount Fanxipan and the peaks were amazing. Bend after bend revealed more beautiful mountains as cool air rushed in through the open windows. So far so good.

Leaving Sapa.

Scenic spot where we stopped for lunch.

It took eight hours for us to reach Dien Bien Phu, where we stayed the night. During the drive Ric got a sick bag splattered in his face and we had to stop twice while the road was cleared after a landslide.

Dien Bien Phu is where the French we defeated once and for all by the Vietnamese, ending their rule over Indochina. The town is of great importance to the Vietnamese and a huge war memorial looms over the town, providing us with a great vantage point for sunset. As Dien Bien Phu was our last stop before leaving Vietnam, Ric uncharacteristically set me loose in the supermarket and suggested I spend the remainder of our Vietnamese money! I was in my element. It seems not that many tourists visit DBP, I posed for more photos with gangs of school kids in one evening than I have during 7 weeks in Vietnam! Two little lads followed us around for ages giggling and occasionally blurting out random things in English. In spite of its historical importance, DBP is seriously lacking in the restaurant department and we went to bed hungry after a bland meal of rice and fried tofu.

 

My fans.

Sunset over Dien Bien Phu, from the war memorial.

The next day we got up at 4:45am to start our journey into Laos. What a farce! The bus eventually set off at 5:30, crawling along the streets, and stopping every 50 yards to big up cargo. This was a minibus, not a lorry yet the driver and his pal spent the next two hours driving up and down the same street filling the bus with all sorts of produce set to be transported into Laos. Rice, pig feed, fish feed, plastic bottles, flat pack wardrobes, car parts, bedding… we had it all crammed around our shoulders. At 8am we finally left DBP. Three hours sat on the bus and we hadn’t even left town. At least the company was good: a lady on the bus took it upon herself to buy and feed us a breakfast of eggs and meat samosas.

At the border Ric was reminded why he doesn’t let me shop very often; we didn’t have enough money for our visas! The border crossing was much more expensive than we expected and we ended up paying all the extra ‘fees’ to the border officials in a mixture of dollars, Vietnam dong and Thai baht.

 

Sitting comfortably.

At the border, our already full bus received an extra 12 passengers that squeezed themselves in on top of rice sacks, in between slabs of wood and on my feet! To add to the relaxing atmosphere the driver put on some traditional Vietnamese music, full blast. Vietnamese music is truly terrible: high pitched wind instruments accompany even higher pitched warbling distorted with the echo effect usually found on karaoke machines. The bus’s speakers crackled and strained under the pressure.

Eventually we arrived in Muang Khua, not our intended destination but as with Dien Bien Phu, a necessary stop to break up a long journey. Muang Khua is a tiny town nestled in the mountains between Laos and Vietnam; its wooden stilt houses, dirt roads and narrow alleys make it a charming place to wander around and the restaurants and bars lining the Nam Ou river make for a peaceful place to enjoy a beer and get into some blog writing. 

We walked across a terrifying wooden suspension bridge that creaked and shook as motorbikes zoomed across it, and then strolled through dusty lanes until we reached a primary school on the edge of the town. A few little boys rushed over to Ric and dangled themselves off his arms. 

Play time, Muong Khua

The lovely brown Nam Ou River with the scary bridge in the distance.

The colourful town center.

We Stayed At...

Manh Chay Guest House, on the main road. Good room, friendly owner, $10/£6.

Trekking in Sapa

On leaving Hanoi our overnight travel karma finally came around and sorted us out with a great sleeper train. No rats, no urine, no over eager locals to ruin our game of scrabble. The carriage was almost empty and we had a cabin to ourselves for half of the ten hour journey. We were in the cheapest sleeper carriage with hard beds and hideous toilets but the next carriage down was first class and we were able to sneak in and use pristine porcelain during the night. 

We arrived in Sapa, up in the mountains on the Chinese border, at around 9am and were met with the blissfully cool temperature of 1,500m altitude. Within seconds of us stepping foot in the town we were surrounded by hotel owners shouting to have their rates heard over one another. Among the hotel touts were half a dozen local tribes women in traditional dress bombarding us with offers of shopping, trekking, 'visit my village', and all manner of other offers designed to part us with our money. We tried to escape them by ducking into a cafe for a coffee but they followed us. It was a bombardment. Not a great first impression of the town but after a few days we found it funny watching these women flock after tourists like ducklings following their mother.

Sapa's main square (which is actually an oval) with the Fanxipan mountain range behind.

The area around Sapa is home to many different ethnic minorities that settled in the fertile mountains hundred of years ago. The largest tribe is the Black H'mong, who live in villages around the town and make a living harassing tourists. The other major ethnic minorities are the Red Dao, Tay, Xa Pho, Giay. Each tribe has a distinct language, religion and clothing, for example, the Black H'mong are so called because their traditional clothing is black-dyed hemp.

It's possible to visit some of the ethnic minority villages by trekking out of the town into the mountains. Our first trek was to the tourist-friendly village of Cat Cat, an easy 20 minute downhill walk out of Sapa. The village itself was totally geared towards tourism, with handicraft shops lining the street and signs in English. The best part of our hike was the return to Sapa where we turned off the main road and walked alone through luscious farm land in the valley. 

Children pass the shops in Cat Cat village.

View from Cat Cat towards Mt. Fanxipan (hidden by cloud).

For the real hiking we got ourselves a guide, Jiao, a Black H'mong lady from Sapa Sisters Trekking Company. We set off for a steep climb to Hang Da village where we stopped for lunch at Jiao's grandmother's house. We gathered around the fire pit in the kitchen of the mud-floored wooden house as Jiao and her 95 year old grandmother prepared a lunch of rice fried pork with vegetables and soup. Inside the house was dark, with only one fluorescent bulb lighting the alter where Jiao's grandfather, the village shaman, performs his ritual blessings.

Cooking with guide Jiao and her grandmother.

After a lunch we said goodbye to the grandmother and started a steep and slippery decent down the other side of the mountain. I barely managed to stay on two feet as we skidded and slid down the clay-like mud; it was extra slippery as it had just started to drizzle with rain. We descended through recently harvested terraces of rice and corn. Jiao pointed out the marijuana plants that the H'mong plant among the corn; they harvest the hemp to make clothing, apparently. 

Looking out over a local school.

We arrived at Lao Chai village at the bottom of the valley and crossed the river to find flocks of H'mong ladies with their baskets full of 'shopping' waiting to follow us with their wares. On the far side of the village we climbed steeply again, losing our ducklings, to Jiao's sister's house where we were to stay the night. The house was similar to Jiao's grandmother's house, only the clouds had cleared from the valley to reveal a beautiful sunset over the terraced rice paddies. On the opposite side of the valley we could see the ridge of the mountain where we'd eaten lunch. Jiao's sister, Xu, had just finished harvesting the rice in her fields and was celebrating with the neighbours that had helped her in the labourious task. The family had killed a pig in honour of our arrival and in order to celebrate the harvest. We ate ALL of the beast: ground bones and fried bamboo, pork fat noodles, intestines fried with cabbage, blood soup... for the most part it was disgusting, but at the same time it was great to see how no part of the animal was wasted. It made me think how unethical it is to kill a pig and only eat the meat, or to kill a chicken and only eat the breast. That said, I don't have any plans to start eating bone any time soon.

Rice terraces with the mountain emerging from the clouds.

The ridge on the other side of the valley where we stopped for lunch.

Our home for the night.

After our interesting dinner the men of the village went to bed, too drunk after the celebration. The women stayed up to ply us with extremely potent rice wine; one by one the ladies approached us with a shot to welcome us to their home. Once everybody had welcomed us it turned into a pattern of gestures, awkward laughter and yet more shots. The children of the village eventually warmed to us and approached with their school books keen to practice English. There was a lovely merry atmosphere around the table and we felt really welcomed into the lives of our hosts. After a visit to the village toilet, positioned next to a fish pond - very dangerous after a few shots of "happy water", we went to sleep under a star-filled clear sky.

Helping the children with their homework after dinner.

The next morning we were up at the crack of dawn with the roosters and the children. The family prepared a feast for breakfast and we ate happily before heading off to Te Van village where H'mong and Dao tribes live together. Most of the people in the villages we visited live very traditional lives; they are farmers who grow their own food and raise their own animals. Most houses don't have bathrooms; bathing and toilet business is done in the stream. Meals are cooked over an open fire. Despite knowing about the toilet in the river business, we still couldn't resist swimming in the river, the cool water was just too tempting in the humid morning heat.

Jiao's niece in traditional H'mong clothing.

We ended our trek with a delicious lunch in a local restaurant, after passing waterfalls and more stunning scenery. We barely saw another tourists during the whole two days and it was amazing to be out in the mountains by ourselves. Our guide Jiao was really lovely, if not a little bonkers, and meeting and staying with her family was such a special experience.

Back in Sapa we passed time admiring nearby Mount Fanxipan, the highest mountain in Indochina, and eating in the many traveler restaurants lining the streets. 

How To Get To...

Cat Cat Village: follow the signs, walk down the hill.

Sapa Sisters: 9 Fansipan St. sapasisters@gmail.com 

It's worth mentioning that according to our guide, Sapa Sisters is one of the more ethical agencies in town, they employ local women as guides and pay them a fair rate. Jiao told us the local Tourist Information Service provides tours that only pay the guides $7/£4 per day!

We Stayed At...

We stayed in two different hotels in Sapa, before and after our trek: Hotel Mimosa had stunning views, great rooms but terrible service (never anybody around to help us), $10/£6 per night. Graceful Hotel is where Sapa Sisters are located, the room was a bit rubbish but the beds were comfortable (a rarity in Asia), $10/£6 per night.

Eating and Walking in Hanoi

 After falling very much in love with Vietnam's biggest city, Saigon, I didn't expect to be too impressed by the country's smaller capital, Hanoi. But this incredible country surprised me yet again. 

Walking through Hanoi is a real pleasure. One minute you're on a wide, tree-lined boulevard admiring elegant five star hotels and the colonial Opera House, the next you're dodging motorbikes on the cramped, winding streets of the Old Quarter where the sunlight is obscured by a mesh of wires and cables connecting narrow, crumbling houses. A short walk north and you find yourself on the edge of a massive lake, sipping a beer on a plastic stool on the pavement. It's a great and interesting place.

Typical house in the Old Quarter.

Old meets new in Hanoi's Old Quarter.

This brave electrician is sitting on the wires to work, they are supporting his entire weight!

We spent our whole time in Hanoi walking, ignoring the protests of my poor blistered feet. We walked around Hoan Kiem Lake, dodging the enthusiastic students that hang around pestering tourists to practice English with them, and popped into Ngoc Son Temple where old men play Chinese checkers on the pagoda overlooking the lake.

Hoan Kiem Lake with Ngoc Son Temple on the right.

We walked around and around the shop lined streets of the old town, where you can buy everything from tomb stones to dragon masks to hiking gear. 

We wandered around Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum Complex and visited his house and gardens. The complex is the only part of the city where traffic is prohibited and hence becomes overrun with power walkers and families in the early evening. We would have entered the mausoleum to catch a glance at Uncle Ho himself, who lies there embalmed in a glass box most of the year, but he's away in Russia on his annual holiday, where scientists work to preserve the 45 year old corpse. The area is surrounded by guards who impose a strict and pointless one way system, sending us on long detours for the sole purpose of their own amusement.

Ho Chi Minh's Mausoleum

Hanoi's Presidential Palace. Ho Chi Minh opted to live in a modest wooden stilt house nearby rather than in the opulent palace.

We walked the edges of the citadel, which isn't at all interesting, and visited three museums. The Military Museum, opposite Lenin Park, had a good collection of aircraft, tanks and canons from Vietnam's numerous struggles. The National History and the Revolutionary Museum weren't as interesting; there weren't any boards to offer an explanation of the history and instead visitors are left to piece together information from the endless displays of photographs. I think we left the museum with a more muddled up understanding of the history than when we entered. One thing all the museums had in common was their amusingly biased captions describing the 'puppet government', 'French colonial spies', and 'fascist bandits'.

Military Museum.

For two days during our stay we couchsurfed with a couple who lived in Tay Ho, the West Lake area that seems to be popular with expats. They took us to the Communist Restaurant, a place made to resemble life after the war, when people ate state issued food rations. On the inside the restaurant has an old cozy atmosphere, with rusting bikes and cracks jugs decorating the walls. We piled into a snug booth and our hosts ordered us a feast of different foods that were commonly eaten during the early communist period. We were even given food stamps instead of a receipt. The food was some of the best food we've eaten during our six weeks in Vietnam: fried pumpkin, sweet potato leaves, meaty spring rolls, stewed pork in soy sauce, tomato and chili fried tofu... it was delicious. 

Staying up in Tay Ho gave us the opportunity to explore West Lake and Truc Bach Lake, where we probably wouldn't have ventured had we stayed in the tourist area. We walked the whole length of the lake one evening in search of my friend and former editorial boss Colette, who lives here now. We spent an evening drinking beers and eating delicious local delicacies by the lake and got fully clued up about life teaching in Vietnam, which I must admit sounds very appealing. 

On the subject of food I can confidently say that Hanoi has some of the best food in the country. It helped that we had our couch hosts and Colette to guide us towards the local dishes that we might have otherwise missed, but we were in food heaven for a whole four days. Some of our favourites were:

Pho Chien Phong; sliced beef, onions and greens in a meaty gravy, eaten with fried bread.

Pho Cuon; minced beef and fragrant herbs rolled in glutinous rice paper, dipped into savoury apple soup.

Bun Cha; barbecued pork, rice noodles, mixed greens and the apple soup.

Nem; springrolls. We've had srpingrolls all over Vietnam and none have compared to the ones we've eaten in Hanoi. Stuffed with minced pork and vermicelli noodles, served with rice noodles and, you guessed it, apple soup for dipping.

Mixed herbs (incl. corriander, mint, anise basil, chili leaf, lettuce), white rice noodles, apple soup, bbq pork, springrolls.

We visited Hoa Lo Prison, where the French imprisoned and tortured Vietnamese revolutionaries. It's now a museum. I was again amused by the amount of propaganda in there. A small part of the prison is dedicated to the American War and a video shows American prisoners grinning like fools and having a wonderful time playing chess in the prison, which was by then controlled by the North Vietnamese. The subtitles explain how lucky the soldiers were to be captured by the Vietnamese, such a kind and humane bunch, and even suggests the prisoners were given presents from the guards upon there release. I'm no historian but that seems unlikely.

For a quiet break away from the chaos of the city we visited the Temple of Literature, a Confucianism Center and historic place where scholars would study before being tested by the king. The temple is also the site of Vietnam's first university, which was destroyed in the war. The flower-filled gardens, pond and ornate courtyards provided us with a quiet place to rest our weary feet after a sweaty day walking around the city.

Court yard in the Temple of Literature.

To top it off I managed to get a filling done in Hanoi for just $7.50/£4.50, not a bad saving considering the same dental work would have cost me $100/£60 in the UK!

How To Get To...

The city sights: Walk. Or be sensible and get a cyclo, moto or traditional taxi.

We Stayed At...

We actually stayed at two different hotels and spent two night couchsurfing.

Hanoi Cental Hotel: $15/£9 small but above average room located right in the center of the Old Quarter.

Fantasea Hotel: $12/£8.20 small but decent room located on the west edge of the Old Quarter.

Typhoon Kalmaegi on Cat Ba Island

We'd planned to travel from Ninh Binh straight through to Ha Long City but a conversation with another traveler lead us to add Haiphong to our itinerary; before we even arrived we decided to skip the city and head out to Cat Ba Island for a few days of relaxation. We arrived early evening and watched the sun set over the bay from our waterfront hotel.

Fishing boats in the bay at Cat Ba Town.

We awoke the next morning ready to hit the beach to find the harbour empty of boats and the town deserted. The owner of the hotel was busy boarding up the ground floor doors and windows and bringing in all the tables from outside. He eventually informed us that there was a big typhoon coming and we'd already missed the last boat leaving the island. Typhoon Kalmaegi ('seagull' in Korean) had already hit the Philippines, Hong Kong and southern China. Throughout the day a tannoy announced the imminent danger and warned people to stay indoors.

The winds got stronger and stronger and by 6pm the electricity to the island went out. We were safe and warm in our hotel with a stash of typhoon survival essentials: chocolate biscuits and crisps. By about 9pm there was water flowing down the stairs to our floor like a waterfall, water was running down the walls and coming in through the windows in our room. We pushed our bed as far away from the windows as possible and tried to ignore the ominous creeks and crashes going on around us. 

The next morning the worst was over and we ventured out to survey the damage. There were a few fallen signs and the odd cracked window, branches and leaves covered the street and sea was wild. Fortunately nobody on the island was hurt and the locals seemed to have prepared for it really well. 

The promenade along the bay.

After a couple of days sitting around doing nothing, waiting for the typhoon to pass, we were finally able to get out and explore the island.

The three beaches were strewn with debris and missing a lot of sand following the typhoon, and the sea was too rough to swim in, but the walks around the karst cliffs and up the mountains to Canon Fort were lovely.

Karst scenery of Lan Ha Bay.

Viewpoint overlooking the bay after hiking 177m up to Canon Fort.

From Cat Ba Island we were able to do a boat trip to Ha Long Bay, so we didn't have to go to Ha Long City at all. The day was spent cruising slowly through the magnificent scenery of Lan Ha Bay and Ha Long Bay, on an old junk boat. When we weren't sunning ourselves no sun loungers on the top deck we stopped to kayak through caves and arches that have been carved out of the limestone karsts by the ocean. We jumped off the boat and swam in secluded lagoons and explored isolated sandy beaches. The water was clear turquoise and we saw some interesting wildlife both above and below the water.

Kayaking in Lan Ha Bay.

The typhoon had brought in a lot of litter and debris from the ocean, although I'm told Ha Long Bay is littered even at the best of times, so we did our part and filled our kayak with floating bottles and plastic bags that we'd fished out of the water. Our guide didn't seem to impressed with our conservation efforts however, and I have a feeling that the rubbish might have been thrown back overboard when we weren't looking!

   

We even stopped to explore an ancient grotto that was once used by hunters to shelter from storms. Inside archaeologists found human and animal remains, as well as fossilised sea mollusks. The stalagmites and stalactites inside where amazing.

How To Get To...

Cat Ba Island: There are multiple boats going to and from the island throughout the day from Ben Binh pier in Haiphong. The speed boat and bus combination costs 150,000VND/$7.50 and the hydrofoil that drops you directly in Cat Ba Town costs 220,000VND.$11. Only ever buy tickets from the ticket counter at the pier as agents and touts in Haiphong will rip you off, this happened to us and every other tourist we spoke to!

Ha Long Bay: We booked a trip with Cat Ba Ventures in Cat Ba Town. The day trip cost $31/£18.60 per person. The guide spoke excellent English and was very well informed on the area.

We Stayed At...

My Ngoc Hotel, on the water front. The room was huge, the view was amazing. It cost $10/£6 per night. The restaurant wasn't very good.

The Many Caves of Ninh Binh

I wasn't looking forward to our night train from Hue to Ninh Binh; India has traumatised me and all I could think of were the rats, the cockroaches, the smell of urine, the overcrowding and the dozens of Indian eyes peering at me through the dark above handlebar moustaches.

The Vietnamese train, on the other hand, was lovely: fresh bedding, a six bed berth with a door that closed, a nice table by the window. It was even clean. We'd just settled into a nice game of scrabble when the man sitting opposite us decided he'd use the 10 hour journey to learn English. He rudely interrupted our game and started writing random words on my piece of paper. For the next 30 minutes I was completely ignored whilst the stranger pestered Ric for pronunciation tips. When he gestured to me and asked Ric my name I got so cross I had to go for a walk. Sexist scrabble botherer!! 

To top it off, we were told the train would arrive in Ninh Binh at 5am but it arrived two hours early, leaving me and Ric sitting in the train station in the middle of the night, being bitten by mosquitoes, waiting for the sun to rise. Not the best start to our day.

90km south of Hanoi, Ninh Binh is home to some of the worst hotels and restaurants in the whole of Vietnam. We dragged our tired selves around several river-front hotels that could have passed for derelict buildings, before finally finding a place to rest.

Fortunately, for what it lacks in accommodation and food, Ninh Binh makes up for it in natural geographical wonders. 

First we took a boat ride through caves and around limestone rocks at Tam Coc, where our skillful guide rowed the boat with his feet! 

View down over Tam Coc from Mua Cave.

We were up early the next day to explore the incredible landscape on bicycles. First stop was Bich Dong temple, built into the side of a mountain with pitch black caves full of bats and Buddhist shrines. At the top there was a sign that says "do not climb up". We learned the hard way that the sign was right; the 100m climb was too difficult in our flip flops and we arrived at the rocky summit drenched in sweat, to find the only patch of shade was home to a nest of wasps. 

Outside Bich Dong.

Cave shrine, Bich Dong.

From the temple we continued along a dusty back road lined with rice paddies to Han Mua; another cave temple at the foot of 500 steps. The labourious climb was worth it for the panoramic views down to Tam Coc and out across Ninh Binh, however; I was not impressed with the Japanese tourist sat at the pagoda at the top playing a horribly out of tune Asian wind instrument! Talk about disrupting the peace.

View Ninh Binh from Mua Cave.

To end the day we took a three hour boat trip around Trang An where we traveled through yet more impressive caves. The karst landscape is really beautiful but once again there was somebody to upset my peace and quiet; this time a large, over-excitable Vietnamese family who shrieked and screamed and cheered their way along the river, having raucous boat races. Ric said I was being a killjoy but he soon changed his tune when the father of the family asked Ric to pay his portion of a tip to the boat driver!

Trang An landscape.

Trang An caves.

Ninh Binh has some amazing scenery, well worth a visit but the town itself isn't very pleasant. We left after two nights with a mild case of food poisoning as a souvenir.

How to get to...
All the caves! All the sights in Ninh Binh are within cycling distance, although hired motorbikes are probably preferable as the sights are quite spread out (about a 30km round trip), and the boat trips are long (Tam Coc 2 hours, Trang An 3 hours).
We stayed at...
Queen Mini Hotel. For $8/£4.80 the room was much nicer than anything else we'd seen in Ninh Binh. All the hotels along the waterfront are disgusting. The services in the Queen Mini Hotel were very overpriced compared to other local agents.