CHAPTER III : Welcome Home

I got back home on the 6th of October, my Dads birthday. Surprising everyone with my homecoming went well, Amy was gobsmacked, my Dad was delighted when he got in from work to find me singing Happy Birthday, my Mum was adamant she knew I was coming home and Gaz was unfazed as always.

Since then Amy gave birth to Jake, my gorgeous nephew and Godson. My parents retired and moved to Spain. I got acquainted with Huddersfield and life went back to normal.

Not having a job for the first time in my life has had it's highs and lows. The Job Center is up there with the most soul destroying of places I've ever been to. When I had my initial interview the woman spoke to me like I was something she'd trodden in, but I still had the last laugh when I told her my degree title and she entered it into her computer as "Modren Forin Languages and Translation and Interperetation" and I had to slowly spell out the words for her. That wiped the smug smile on the self righteous cow's face. Since then I've applied for hundreds of jobs, I've had a few interviews and I'm getting royally fed up with the whole affair. It's a depressing feeling when you send of 15 CVs and don't hear a thing back.

However, the bright side is that I also have a boyfriend who in unemployed and a sister-in-law at home with a baby so I've plenty of people to keep me company whilst I watch Jeremy Kyle. In the meantime I'm making the most of my lie ins, cuddles with Jake (and occasionally Ric) and centering my day around that all important wander up to the co-op. It's not a lifestyle choice, and I'm skint on my arse, but it's not too bad really.

END OF CHAPTER II : Salvador

The end of the road. Finally I'm at my final destination before I head back to the joys of family life, eternal rain and minimum wage in Manchester.

I flew from Belo Horizonte to Salvador on a low cost airline that wasn't really that low cost but now I'm in the final leg of my trip I've decided no more long overnight buses. I'm treating myself. Plus 24 hours on a bus seems unbearable now Ric's not here.

The flight went well and arrived on time at 12.30am. Not wanting to roam the streets of Salvador in the middle of the night looking for a hostel, I set up my camp (sleeping bag, ear plugs, eye mask and inflatable pillow) in Salvador airport and tried my best to get some sleep.

The next morning I awoke and took the 90 minute unairconditioned local bus to Barra. It seems to take forever, was stuffy and airless. Barra is the 'nice' area of Salvador, where the nice beaches are. I found Albergue do Porto, a hostel that had been recommended to me by some girls I met in Rio. Its a really nice hostel actually, only 1 block away from the beach on opposite a supemarket and a chinese take away! What more could a girl want?!

Salvador's old town is know as Pelorinho, built up on a hill overlooking the bay. Cobbled streets, colourful buildings and little winding streets full of bar and restaurants. It would be wonderful if it weren't for the masses of beggars, street children, pickpockets and pushy street vendors. But then again this is Brasil. I visited a museum dedicated to past leaders of Brasil, a beautiful building where I read a history of Brasil since the Portuguese invaded. There's also a lift that the city is extremely proud of, that takes you from the upper lever of the old town down to sea level. Its nothing special, just a shabby lift with bad brakes: it makes you stomache lurch when it starts and stops. In the evening the streets are filled with live music and lively crowds. Had an enjoyable evening sitting out in the balmy weather, listening to an accoustic set accompanied by a cold beer and a shot of rum that almost came back up as soon as id swallowed it!

Salvador is the first place that African slaves were brought to by the Portuguese and for this reason the people here are considered the blackest in all of Brasil. This also means there's a lot of culture here, such as a guy I was walking along the beach with a huge box of eggs balanced on his head!

There are fortresses, towers and lighthouses on every bit of land jutting out along the coast. These were built by the Portuguese to protect them from Spanish, French and English would-be invaders.

My general mood in Salvador hasn't been great as I'm now counting the days until I go home. I just want to relax, I'm not interested in visiting everything, socialising with other travellers or going out partying. I've spent 90% of my time on the beach with my head in a book. The other 10% having early nights or pining for Ric over skype. Its been a nice quiet end to 6 hectic months.

Salvador scores very poorly on my list of favourite places for one sole reason: the men. The men here are the most leacherous, pervy, creepy, annoying species of men I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. You can't walk two yards down the road without "hey beautiful", "what is your name" (pronounced 'na-may' in a terrible portuguese accent.) But by far the worst thing, the thing that grates on me down to the depths of my soul is the noise they make trying to get your attention. They'll stand above you on the pavement behind the beach making a sound that is a cross between "pssssst" and a kissing sound. Its the kind of noise you might make to a dog to get its attention and it makes my blood boil. They'll do it until you look up. I've avoided going out on my own because its that annoying. On the beach today some creep sat right next to me chatting shite in portuguese, he even tried getting on my towel with me. He only left after I repeatedly shouted 'ciao' at him and shooed him away.

Salvador is beautiful but unfortunately is also dirty, full of homeless people, beggars and cockroaches.

Luckily I've met some really nice people in the hostel, such as Mitch a 19 year old dutch boy with a high camp voice that made him sound like a gay Arnold Schwartzeneger. And Gaby the sex mad pregnant receptionist. Also the arrogant Italian man who declared "I speak English but I do not like it, I will speak to you slowly in French because if I spoke normally you would not understand" - jerk!

Rio de Janeiro

Rio is absolutely amazing. I could live here. Its got stunning beaches, mountains, lakes, and is a huge big city - the best of all worlds!

Went to Christ the Redeemer, Rio's signature tourist attraction. Its 30m high, one metre for each year that Jesus lived and sits on top of a mountain overlooking the coast. The views were incredible. Jam packed with tourists.

Have been to various beaches, Copacabana, Ipanema, Barra. Went to a massive lake just a few blocks back from Ipanema beach. The beaches are amazing, golden sand and the seas warm, although really rough, the waves are huge and knocked me over everytime I went in.

I'm staying in the neighborhood of Copacabana, its really nice, loads of shops, restauants and parks. Its safe too, the south areas of Rio are safer than the north. The hostel is El Misti House. Its alright, 12 beds in a tiny room and it could do with a tv area for hangover days! Met some weeeiiird characters here; this girl called Anna who's been here a month and has been learning about Brasilian culture by sleeping with as many men as possible. She's got an awful west country accent and is a complete drama queen, so annoying. There's another girl from Sweden who isn't my favourite person either she doesn't like "tourists" and only goes out with local people, not sure why she's staying in a hostel full of gringos to be honest. And an American called Amy who's the most terrified person I've met in 6 months of travelling. She won't leave the hostel on her own and is flying from place to place because she's too scared to get the bus. I don't get why she bothered to leave the safety of Texas to be honest. Met some cool people too though, thankfully!

We went to the Lapa steps, a massive staircase of tiled steps that a crazy Chilean has been tiling for 21years, and its still not finished. They're a mossaic of tiles from all over the world, some he collected on his travels and some people have sent him. Its really beautiful. We met the artist, a 60 something year old with a big moustache.

In the same neighborhood we also went to the cathedral, its a really modern one, shaped like a cone and inside the stained glass windows are huge. Its really nice, an unusual building.

I want to live in Rio.

Belo Horizonte - a reunion with Ciaran

Out of the blue I found out that my friend Ciaran had randomly moved to Brasil. So with only 2 days notice I turned up at his doorstep having not seen each other for 2 and a half years since we were both living in Nantes.

Belo Horizonte is another big city full of sky scrapers and lots of traffic, a bit like Sao Paulo but nicer, less touristy and the people are friendlier. Its the capital of the state of Minas Gerais.

As far as the city goes there's not much to say, lots of bars, shops and cafes. Its hilly, and the weather is fantastic, it was 35 degrees when I got here. Not that much fun when there's no beach though.

The people are cheese fanatics. The state Minas Gerais has its own cheese and (apparently) it goes with everything. Never eaten so much cheese in my life!

The weekend has centered around drinking, as to be expected with an Irishman, and the bars here are really good, always full with a young crowd, good music and the drinks are cheap.

The highlight was going to Ciaran's Brasilian girlfriends's family home for a typical Sunday dinner. It was intensive Brasilian culture. There was enough food to feed an army; salads, fried chicken, lasagne, meats and of course, tons and tons of fried cheese! I'm surprised Brasilian women aren't obese with the amount of cheese they eat. The food was great and so was the entertainment. Lala, Ciaran's girlfriend, was subjected to standard parental humiliation, telling us embarassing stories from when she was little etc. Her Dad is a madman, he kept poking me to get my attention, which I found very annoying! And her Mum was lovely. I tried very hard to speak Portuguese. The whole family shout instead of speaking, getting louder and louder to make themselves heard above one another. I met the drug dealer cousin and her 9 year old cousin who was the coolest dude I have ever met and even tried it on flirting with me. It was a really fun day.

We went out to a place called Pedro Leopard, about an hour outside the city, to Ciaran's friend's family home. It was a stunning house, beautiful, massive and furnished like a rappers house off an episode of Cribs. The sound system was better than that of most nightclubs. We spent the day there in the swimming pool, drinking vodka and eating home cooked Brasilian food. It was awesome. Around the town there were hills covered in trees and a massive forest fire had started because it was so hot and dry. The entire town was covered in smoke and the whole mountain was on fire, insane. In Europe people would be trying to put the fire out, but this is Brasil...

We went up to the outer limit of BH, high up the mountains. We had a picnic lunch whilst looking out over a panoramioc view of the city, and with the trees still burning away behind us!

I've learnt that people here don't like the promiscuous 'cariocas' - the girls from Rio. And that Brasilian people speak really really loudly!

Drunk in Rio!

I've been drowning my sorrows since Ric left. It hasn't been too much of an ardious task as Rio's nightlife is amazing. Here are the highlights:

Lapa Street Party

Lapa is a not so great area of Rio and at weekends the streets fill with live music, stalls selling hotdogs and caipirinhas and x-rated Brasilian dancing. It was a great night, some unbelievable sights, cross dressers, transsexuals, half naked men and women and some of the most sexual dancing I have ever seen. I thought I was a pretty liberal person until I got to Rio. Hot pants, stilettoes, tiny revealing boob tubes and trashy make up. And the dancing, my God. I saw a sex show in Amsterdam that was tamer than the dancing on the streets of Lapa! We got friendly with a group of gays humping to the beat of the samba, they were funny and loved the attention they were getting from us gringos! There were also lots of kids running around pickpocketing people.

Favela Party

The favelas are the shanty towns that sprawl up the mountains around Rio, the police don't go there, the drug lords make the rules and its generally a pretty scary place, although in recently the police have been trying to take over control of the favelas to make the city safer in time for the olympics. So knowing all this, I decided to round up some of the people in the hostel and go to an ilegal rave there. I was shitting myself but actually, I felt really safe once I was there. It was in an underground car park, they'd set up a bar and a stage area and a couple of thousand people turned up. It was weird, all the men wore white t-shirts and had these N-Sync style rehersed dance routines. They danced in a line at the front of the stage, Brasilian gangsters shakin and shimmyin like a 90's boy band. Opposite them all the girls stood, in a line, wearing the same revealing uniform as at the street party, humping and grinding like porn stars. The space inbetween the men and the women was empty. So weird and hilarious to watch. The music was awful, rap distorted over a sound system that they'd turned up too loud. It was a dirt cheap night out, I spent about £8 and had a good laugh trying (and failing) to shake my booty like the Brasilians. On the way home on the bus we were stopped and searched twice by armed police, the locals on the bus were shouting 'gringos gringos' and two of the people I was with threw up at my feet. It was a good night.

I'm on a boat mother fucker on a boat...

I was very easily persuaded onto another big night out by the words "open bar" and "free entry for girls". Booze cruise! It was great, we sailed around the bay on this boat that had two floors. There was music, food, dancing, lots of alcohol and a view over the lights of Rio. It lasted from 11pm til 5am. I met loads of people, spoke various languages and had my first lesson in arabic thanks to my new Eygptian friends (sharmoot!) And I didn't even get sea sick.

My liver is whimpering.

Sao Paulo and a Teary Farewell to Ric Stopher

I wasn't looking forward to Sao Paulo. In fact I was dreading it because that's where Ric's South American Adventure came to an end and I got left solo again for the first time in 3 months.

We arrive at 5am from Iguazu and by 7 we were back in bed in Hostel Verguiero. A strange hostel, very few people, very basic and owned by a small chinese man who doesn't smile very often. The bus journey wasn't great and the drivers were some of the rudest I've encountered, they wouldn't turn the telly up for us even though the film was in English and they wouldn't let Ric off to smoke yet they both stood outside the bus smoking themselves! Awful people.

The city is enormous; 17 million people and skyscrapers in every direction as far as the eye can see. Yet it doesn't have the feeling of chaos that Lima has. Everything is modern and the metro system is really good. The main plaza, Praça de Sé, is really pretty in spite of it being home to the largest congreation of homeless people I've ever seen; dozens of them sat around in gangs just chillin and stinkin out the place. The centre is really busy and full of beggars, religious nuts shouting and street performers blowing their effing panpipes! Every other shop is a juice bar/bakery selling exotic fruits and funny shaped pastry things such cheese burgers hidden inside bread rolls.

South of the centre there's a huge park called Parque do Ibirapuera. It has big ponds, nice flowers and black swans (I've never seen a black swan before, I might take one home to show to the Queen!). We went on a scorcher of a day, 32 degrees, and sat in the shade eating ice lollies and trying not to melt. Behind the park you can see all the sky scrapers along the horizon, its like Central Park in New York (according to Ric, who's actually been there, I've not, but I've seen it in Friends...)

We also went to Edificio Italia, a sky scraper that's open to the public. We went to the the 40-something-th floor where you can go outside and walk around the building on this lovely viewing platform. The view is amazing, so many high rise buildings and the city seems to go on forever. You can see loads of helicopters flying from building to building and landing on the roofs, probably rich business men going to meetings. I really liked it plus we went on a really sunny clear day.

Avenida Paulista is like the main high street where all the main banks and shops are. We walked along there at night and all the buildings, even the telephone masts, were lit up different colours. We went for our final meal along there (snif snif) and had a bit of fun trying out our newly acquired Portuguese skills - we ended up with 3 beers instead of 2 and an extra portion of chips that we didn't want and couldn't finish!! 

I am well out of my comfort zone here with this Portuguese business! I've just spent 5 months in Peru, Bolivia, Chile and Argentina and before that 7 months in France, where I could speak more or less fluently and make myself understood, then I arrive in Brasil where I haven't the first idea about Portuguese! Its scary. Its written similar to Spanish so I can at least hazard a guess at signs and stuff but the pronunciation is completely different and no one understands if you speak Spanish to them! Arrrgh!

So Ric left today :( 3 whole months later than he had planned to go home! Saying goodbye was horrible. After travelling together for so long, spending every second of the day together and living in each others pockets, its a bit strange to be on my own again. I keep expecting him to walk back in.

But I'm not going to mope about. I'm goin to man up, get a tan, learn this daft language they speak here and then get my arse home to see my beautiful family, my wonderful friends and the amazing man I fell in love with in South America.

Magic Cactus' and Nightime at the Falls

In the end, we stayed 6 nights in Iguazu, 4 more than we intended. Its nice, warm and we got a good deal on the room.

So, the magic cactus... When I arrived in South America I started hearing all about this "therepy" that clenses your soul and frees all your demons. Its called San Pedro and involves drinking some slime made from boiled up cactus. In reality, the "therepy" is nothing more than a hallucinogen, like magic mushrooms, ie. magic cactus, so naturally me and Ric bought some from the witches market in La Paz (where its completely legal). We carried it around with us and smuggled it over 3 international borders until we got to Iguazu and here's what happened:

Ric, Joe and myself went and sat by the river Iguazu which divides Argentina, Brasil and Paraguay, in the gardens of a posh hotel, it was a beautiful spot with views of each country. We'd been told that drinking the cactus potion isn't a pleasant experience as it curdles into a thick goo, so instead we mixed it with a tiny bit of Orange Fanta to make pea sized balls that looked like rabbit poos, then we swallowed them with water.

For my first experience of hallucinogens it was quite underwhelming, I certainly didn't see any demons. Nonetheless the world seemed a brighter more beautiful place and we spent the whole day giggling at ridiculous things. I'm glad I tried it, its an Andean tradition remedy and something you have to do in South America.

As the moon was full whilst we were in Iguazu, me and Ric got the chance to visit the falls at night, something very few people do. It was amazing. Seeing the jungle and the waterfalls lit by moonlight was totally different to seeing them during the day, really mysterious, especially with all the spray and mist that rises from the river. And as there had been a huge storm days before the water was ten times powerful, it was an impressive sight, and of course a romantic moonlit walk :)

Iguazu Falls

Iguazu Falls, wonder of the natural world, on the border of Argentina, Brazil and Paraguay, in the jungle.

Got here on Monday after a 22hr bus from Buenos Aires. The bus was awesome, there were only 2 other people on it by the end and we got a really decent 3 course meal.

Iguazu is in the Iraipú jungle, its hot, humid and there are thunder storms all the time. We're staying in Bambu Hostel, in a16 bed dorm, there's swimming pool, there are toasties for breakfast, its chilled out and they let us help ourselves to beer.

Iguazu Falls - The Brazil Side

First we went to Brazilian side, which is only 30% of the falls and has panoramic views of the Argentinian side. Its beautiful, we got soaked standing at the bottom of Garganta del Diablo (Devil's Throat) and there were loads of these animals called Quitas (?) Duno what they are but they look like mini anteaters mixed with possoms. They come and attack you and try and eat your food.

Iguazu Falls - The Argi Side

Theeeee next day we went to see the Argentinian side where you see the falls from above and below (as oppose to from in front from the Brazilian side). It was more impressive because you're right next to the falls so you can see and hear the power of the water. We went on a boat that took us into the water and we got soaked for a second time. From the Argentina side you can go and stand over Garganta del Diablo and see where it gets its name from. The river Iguazu is huge, really wide, but really calm on the upper part, then when you get to the edge all the water gets swallowed up into the waterfalls and swirls and foams around in a rather ferocious manner. Its well impressive. The mist that comes off it goes up over 100m into the air.

Really enjoyed the falls, stunning. Staying an extra day or three here because its nice, cheap, and its raining too much to bother getting out of bed.

Buenos Aires

Got to Buenos Aires after sweating buckets for 17hours on a long sleepless bus from Mendoza. Met Joe, Ric's mate who's flown here from Australia, and checked into Milhouse, another party hostel. And here's what we did:

Recoleta Cementery

Thought it was a bit weird going to visit a cementery but then again Recoleta isn't a normal cementery. It's and exclusive cementery for the rich and famous of Buenos Aires and the graves are not graves, they are huge monumental shrines adorned with statues, stained glass windows, giant Jesus' on the cross and elaborately decorated doors. The dead in Recoleta live better than a lot of South Americans that are still living! Saw Evita's tomb, it was quite unimpressive.

Bomba del Tiempo

Me and Ric went to see Bomba del Tiempo and it was one of my favourite nights out of the whole trip. Its a group of musicians who play all sorts of percussion instruments live inside an old factory, they were absolutely amazing. One guy stands at the front and conducts it all using random hand gestures and its completely spontaneous and improvised. They had guest artists on too, a guy on keyboards, a singer and a rapper. Music was awesome, had a little dance, loved it!

La Boca

Did a walking tour of La Boca, the neighbourhood where all the immigrants first settled, and home to Boca Juniors football club. We saw the stadium and the football museum, instead of visiting the museum we spent most of our time counting up our pennies in the stands so that we could buy hangover curing hot dogs, which suited me fine as I'm not that interested in Maradona anyway! Apparently the fans are slightly uncivilised and like to throw bleach at each other. The tour was really good, the guide told us loads about the history of the area and the people, as well as what the plans are for the future. She said it used to be a really prosperous area but the government closed down the dock and moved all the factories to the north because they were poluting the river, so now the area is really run down and full of crack heads and criminals - sounds like Salford. All the buildings are painted bright colours and its because the streets used to flood in the rainy season and they had to repaint using the paint left over from the boats in the port.

Palmero 400 grams of Steak

Palmero is one of the nicer areas of Buenos Aires, full of parks, zoos and trendy shops. We went to the park, then to the main plaza that was full of bars and restaurants. For tea we went to La Cabrera for happy hour! Its known to be the best steak house in the city, well posh, and as we went at 7 o'clock, just as it opened, everything was half price! We all had 100 peso steaks and a 130 peso bottle of red wine and got 50%. Our steaks were the biggest cuts of meat I have ever seen. They were 400 grams of perfectly cooked cow, accompanied with 15 little pots of random garnishes, salads and sauces. AMAZING. And it only came to about a tenner each.

Puerto Madero

Salford Quays in Argentina. Glass high rise appartments, fancy restaurant and pricey bars. Went on an old boat museum about the Argentinian navy, wandered along the waterside and had an orange juice on a terrace in the sun.

Tango

Tango was invented in Buenos aires, by the immigrants in La Boca. It was the forbidden dance of prostitutes. We went on a tango evening; dance lesson, 3 course meal, unlimited booze and a show. It was brilliant. The class was really funny, we learnt the 8 basic steps and how to do "tango face". The food was great, we drank far too much and the show was amazing. 

In conclusion...

Liked BA a lot. Really nice capital, buildings are impressive. Its expensive and the weather hasn't been great.

Favourite Person

Old Scottish guy called Dave who we met in the cementery and who stalked us for the rest of the week, turning up at our dorm room when we were all hungover in bed and trying to make plans with us.

Mendoza

Mendoz is nice. The streets are all lined with trees, the plazas are big and the Andes in the background make for a majestic backdrop.

We walked around the park in the sun with a random couple we met and we had afternoon beers sat outside a bar on Astides Villanueva - a strip of fancy expensive restaurants and bars. We didn't make it out to the wine bodegas but we did have our own tasting session and put away quite a few bottles of malbec. And we had a huge 500gr argentinian steak.

The hostel was called Ruca Potu, it was miles away from the centre of town and the owner, Ariel, lied to us whenever we asked him for information. All the bodegas are closed apart from one really far away that's not on the bus route, but if you pay me 100 pesos each I will take you. Awful man. He also tried charging Ric 100 pesos for a footy match that only cost 40 on the door. Although we did manage to get a double room with a lush private bathroom and cable tv for the same price as a doom.

Ric the adrenalin junky went jumping out of planes whilst I spent the day getting lost and riding around on random buses. It took me 3 hours to go to the supermarket and back.