END OF CHAPTER I (France)

France. Six months. DONE.

So I'm on my way home from France, for good. I'm no longer an au pair. I no longer live in France. So, as I sit in the departure lounge of Nice airport, I feel it's time for some reflections on my time here:

Au Pairing: My experience as une fille au pair was greatly different to what I had imagined when I signed up. I imagined I'd feel like a member of the family, but I can't say I did. I was generally treated like an employee and I lead my own separate life to the family, however I think this improved my experience rather than hindered it. It allowed me to make friends, travel, explore, and get ridiculously drunk and do stupid things. And still in spite of this I still formed a really strong bond with the children. Charlotte, who I consider like a little sister, who confided in me things she couldn't talk to her parents about, who make me relive my experiences as a 13 year old girl, where boys, friends and clothes are all that matter. Barnabé, such a sweet intelligent and sensitive boy who was better than me at maths and always made me laugh. And Merlin, my baby, who corrected my French, entertained me with his hilarious 4 year old jibberish and taught me how hard it is to raise children!! I've learnt so much from this family, I had moments where I wanted to give up, moments where I wanted to stay forever and moments that I will cherish. It has really been a memorable experience living with another family, adapting to there way of life and helping them in their day to day routine.

My French: I finally feel I deserve to have 1st class honors degree in French. When I graduated I felt like a fraud, who'd gotten lucky on the day of the exams, but know I can confidently say, "I can speak French". I think in French, I dream in French, and I spent six months speaking nothing but French. I genuinely am proud of the progress I made. I made the effort to study and to learn the impossibly complicated mess that is French grammar, I can have complicated conversations about politics, education and what-not in French, I watch films in French and understand as if it were in English. The aim of coming here was to get my French up to standard, it's not perfect, it never will be, but I achieved my goal. Pat-on-my-back!

My Opinion of French People: Has not changed. I really wanted it to, but I'm afraid the stereotypes are true. I've met lots of cool, friendly, and open minded French people. Frenchies that participate in couchsurfing for example, or people I’ve met hitch-hiking. However there's still something about them that drives me crazy. Je sais pas quoi! It’s the way they drive. It’s their stubbornness. It’s their conviction that France is the best country in the world. It’s their coldness. I’m not saying I don’t like them, I love them. And I love to hate them. It’s a love-hate relationship in fact.

Reform: If you read my blogs from when I first arrived you’d think I was a born again Christian. I was starting again after a 3 month long post-graduation binge and I was an angel. I was eating healthy, I stopped drinking, I started jogging and I was studying French grammar in my spare time… And then I realised it really wasn’t for me!! What have I learnt about myself in France? I’ve learnt that I like to party, I like living a random crazy life, doing stupid things and that people like me because of that. So although I’ve kept up the jogging, I’m also proud to be returning to England with a rather impressive pain au chocolate filled belly and some rather amusing drunken anedotes!

International Relations: Another misconception I had before coming here was that the friends I would make would be French. Yeah I made French friends, but I also made German, Polish, American, Italian, Mexican, Dutch, Danish, Hungarian, Lithuanian and Swiss friends – just to name a few of the nationalities I’ve come across. We were a load of foreigners living in France, and we make a pretty handsome group. I have learnt SO much from my friends here. I can now swear fluently in German, I know all about American TV and religious cults, I’ve learnt about their countries, their food, their politics and customs and education systems and I’ve laughed from start to finish. Together we have our own special language of Foreigner-French mixed in with some set phrases that became part of our everyday vocabulary but that no French person would understand! I’ll miss them, but I know I’ll see them again some day.

So that’s just a few thoughts on my stay in France. Generally I prefer for this blog to be a factual rather than sentimental/feelingsy account of my life, but still I think its nice to summarise all the things I’ve learnt and experienced.

Now I’ve got a month or so at home to prepare myself for chapter two:

SOUTH AMERICA!!!

France, it has been a pleasure!