Martha Tilston, Birmingham

My birthday present off Ric was to go and watch Martha Tilston play at the Kitchen Garden Cafe in Birmingham. Her albums were the sound track to many a sleepless night spent on buses in South America and her songs hold many happy memories for us.

We got the train down and eventually found our hotel, that was in fact a pub, called the Moseley Arms. We were greeted by a very matter-of-fact brum woman who told us we had to have a twin, even though we'd booked a double room.

Birmingham seems to be centered around the Bull Ring shopping centre, its the main attraction, along with a technological out-of-space themed Selfridges building. We mooched about and saw the "famous landmark" bull.

Birmingham has a very interesting mix of buildings and super modern architecture. Although by far the nicest area is around the canals, the "heart" of the Uk's canal network. It was sunny and there were lots of nice bars on the water front. We had some drinks in a place called the Malt House and then went to the Chinese Quarter for a slap up chinky dinner.

The actual gig was in a cafe/restaurant/shop/garden centre and about 100 people were crammed into a little room on an assortment of garden furniture. We managed to get seats of the second row. The venue was lovely, bit weird, as everything was for sale and there were potatoes for sale outside, but it had a wholesome, homely feel.

The supporting act was a really dry humoured lad called Chris Cleavley who was good and made me laugh. 

Martha Tilston's set actually blew me away, her voice is so amazing. She played some new stuff that I hadn't heard, and was chatty and laid back, making jokes with the audience. I really love her songs because they tell stories, they feel personal rather than the standard generic lyrics that make up most pop music. Even better, she introduced each song saying what it meant and how she came to write it.

The absolute highlight though was when she played Artifical. Its one of mine and Ric's favourites, I love it because its about working in an office, and how it can be totally unmotivating and soul destroying doing something that means nothing to you, just to pay the bills. Turns out that song is actually about temping, and Martha herself was a temp. She asked the audience and when I said that I was a temp she dedicated the song to me!

Unfortunately the quiet little pub we were booked into turned into some kinda of 16year old's mosher disco and uninspiring base was blasted at us through the floorboards until 3am! So we didn't get very much sleep. 

On the whole though it was a bloody lovely trip.

18 + 6

I recently turned 24, I have a grown up job, I pay bills, my friends are getting married and my little brother has a baby. Does that make me a grown up?

Naaaah.

Jake is the most gorgeous child I have ever seen. He has grown two little teeth (front, bottom), learnt to roll over and has started eating real food. His smile is pure innocence. I love him.

England is awful as ever. Current scams include Tesco making unemployed teenagers work as slaves; they have this "agreement" with the dole office where kids go and work in Tesco and only get their dole money (£50/week), its exploitation. They also have these apprenticeships which are basically an excuse to pay way under minimum wage (£3/hr!) I think its disgusting. There's massive unemployment problems in the country and multimillion companies like Tesco are taking advantage of the situation, using it as an excuse to pay a pittance. The other scandal is the Tories trying to privatise the NHS with these new reforms that they're conveniently not consulting doctors and hospitals about. There's a lot of secrecy around the reforms that I think makes me suspicious.

Mum and Dad seem to be happy in Spain, they say they're not bored but they ring us a lot and they've started decorating their new house! Sometimes I miss them because there was more order at home under my mum's reign, and things got fixed when they broke when dad was here. But generally speaking living with Gaz, Amy and Jake is much more pleasent than I anticipated. In fact, Gaz is much more of a grown up than me now he's a daddy himself, and has takin on the moaning and grumpiness like a natural!

2012

2011 was a pretty damn good year.

I started it was an au pair in the south of France and ended it as an Editor working in Bolton.

I went to Spain, Peru, Bolivia, Chile, Argentina, Brasil, France and Germany.

I met a wonderful man on the other side of the world and we fell in love.

My gorgous nephew was born. And my parents retired and moved to Spain. Meaning my entire family dynamics changed while I was away and in 2012 I will be living with my brother, his girlfriend, their baby and a bloke from Yorkshire who I met in Peru.

So if 2012 if half as good as 2011 I'll be very pleased.

Plans for the year are endless and unplanned. Me and Ric want to go away yet, probably to Asia, but we don't know when or where or even how, although I'm hoping it will be sooner than later!

Baby Jake is going to be christened and I'm going to be his Godmother.

And I'm wokring a full time Monday - Friday job in the UK for the first time in my life! And quite enjoying having plus figures entering my bank account for a change!

Hopefully there won't be an apocolypse like the crazy people keep predicting, but if there is, at least I can say I've lived an excitinglife.

Happy New Year.

CHAPTER III : Welcome Home

I got back home on the 6th of October, my Dads birthday. Surprising everyone with my homecoming went well, Amy was gobsmacked, my Dad was delighted when he got in from work to find me singing Happy Birthday, my Mum was adamant she knew I was coming home and Gaz was unfazed as always.

Since then Amy gave birth to Jake, my gorgeous nephew and Godson. My parents retired and moved to Spain. I got acquainted with Huddersfield and life went back to normal.

Not having a job for the first time in my life has had it's highs and lows. The Job Center is up there with the most soul destroying of places I've ever been to. When I had my initial interview the woman spoke to me like I was something she'd trodden in, but I still had the last laugh when I told her my degree title and she entered it into her computer as "Modren Forin Languages and Translation and Interperetation" and I had to slowly spell out the words for her. That wiped the smug smile on the self righteous cow's face. Since then I've applied for hundreds of jobs, I've had a few interviews and I'm getting royally fed up with the whole affair. It's a depressing feeling when you send of 15 CVs and don't hear a thing back.

However, the bright side is that I also have a boyfriend who in unemployed and a sister-in-law at home with a baby so I've plenty of people to keep me company whilst I watch Jeremy Kyle. In the meantime I'm making the most of my lie ins, cuddles with Jake (and occasionally Ric) and centering my day around that all important wander up to the co-op. It's not a lifestyle choice, and I'm skint on my arse, but it's not too bad really.

END OF CHAPTER II : Salvador

The end of the road. Finally I'm at my final destination before I head back to the joys of family life, eternal rain and minimum wage in Manchester.

I flew from Belo Horizonte to Salvador on a low cost airline that wasn't really that low cost but now I'm in the final leg of my trip I've decided no more long overnight buses. I'm treating myself. Plus 24 hours on a bus seems unbearable now Ric's not here.

The flight went well and arrived on time at 12.30am. Not wanting to roam the streets of Salvador in the middle of the night looking for a hostel, I set up my camp (sleeping bag, ear plugs, eye mask and inflatable pillow) in Salvador airport and tried my best to get some sleep.

The next morning I awoke and took the 90 minute unairconditioned local bus to Barra. It seems to take forever, was stuffy and airless. Barra is the 'nice' area of Salvador, where the nice beaches are. I found Albergue do Porto, a hostel that had been recommended to me by some girls I met in Rio. Its a really nice hostel actually, only 1 block away from the beach on opposite a supemarket and a chinese take away! What more could a girl want?!

Salvador's old town is know as Pelorinho, built up on a hill overlooking the bay. Cobbled streets, colourful buildings and little winding streets full of bar and restaurants. It would be wonderful if it weren't for the masses of beggars, street children, pickpockets and pushy street vendors. But then again this is Brasil. I visited a museum dedicated to past leaders of Brasil, a beautiful building where I read a history of Brasil since the Portuguese invaded. There's also a lift that the city is extremely proud of, that takes you from the upper lever of the old town down to sea level. Its nothing special, just a shabby lift with bad brakes: it makes you stomache lurch when it starts and stops. In the evening the streets are filled with live music and lively crowds. Had an enjoyable evening sitting out in the balmy weather, listening to an accoustic set accompanied by a cold beer and a shot of rum that almost came back up as soon as id swallowed it!

Salvador is the first place that African slaves were brought to by the Portuguese and for this reason the people here are considered the blackest in all of Brasil. This also means there's a lot of culture here, such as a guy I was walking along the beach with a huge box of eggs balanced on his head!

There are fortresses, towers and lighthouses on every bit of land jutting out along the coast. These were built by the Portuguese to protect them from Spanish, French and English would-be invaders.

My general mood in Salvador hasn't been great as I'm now counting the days until I go home. I just want to relax, I'm not interested in visiting everything, socialising with other travellers or going out partying. I've spent 90% of my time on the beach with my head in a book. The other 10% having early nights or pining for Ric over skype. Its been a nice quiet end to 6 hectic months.

Salvador scores very poorly on my list of favourite places for one sole reason: the men. The men here are the most leacherous, pervy, creepy, annoying species of men I have ever had the misfortune of meeting. You can't walk two yards down the road without "hey beautiful", "what is your name" (pronounced 'na-may' in a terrible portuguese accent.) But by far the worst thing, the thing that grates on me down to the depths of my soul is the noise they make trying to get your attention. They'll stand above you on the pavement behind the beach making a sound that is a cross between "pssssst" and a kissing sound. Its the kind of noise you might make to a dog to get its attention and it makes my blood boil. They'll do it until you look up. I've avoided going out on my own because its that annoying. On the beach today some creep sat right next to me chatting shite in portuguese, he even tried getting on my towel with me. He only left after I repeatedly shouted 'ciao' at him and shooed him away.

Salvador is beautiful but unfortunately is also dirty, full of homeless people, beggars and cockroaches.

Luckily I've met some really nice people in the hostel, such as Mitch a 19 year old dutch boy with a high camp voice that made him sound like a gay Arnold Schwartzeneger. And Gaby the sex mad pregnant receptionist. Also the arrogant Italian man who declared "I speak English but I do not like it, I will speak to you slowly in French because if I spoke normally you would not understand" - jerk!

Rio de Janeiro

Rio is absolutely amazing. I could live here. Its got stunning beaches, mountains, lakes, and is a huge big city - the best of all worlds!

Went to Christ the Redeemer, Rio's signature tourist attraction. Its 30m high, one metre for each year that Jesus lived and sits on top of a mountain overlooking the coast. The views were incredible. Jam packed with tourists.

Have been to various beaches, Copacabana, Ipanema, Barra. Went to a massive lake just a few blocks back from Ipanema beach. The beaches are amazing, golden sand and the seas warm, although really rough, the waves are huge and knocked me over everytime I went in.

I'm staying in the neighborhood of Copacabana, its really nice, loads of shops, restauants and parks. Its safe too, the south areas of Rio are safer than the north. The hostel is El Misti House. Its alright, 12 beds in a tiny room and it could do with a tv area for hangover days! Met some weeeiiird characters here; this girl called Anna who's been here a month and has been learning about Brasilian culture by sleeping with as many men as possible. She's got an awful west country accent and is a complete drama queen, so annoying. There's another girl from Sweden who isn't my favourite person either she doesn't like "tourists" and only goes out with local people, not sure why she's staying in a hostel full of gringos to be honest. And an American called Amy who's the most terrified person I've met in 6 months of travelling. She won't leave the hostel on her own and is flying from place to place because she's too scared to get the bus. I don't get why she bothered to leave the safety of Texas to be honest. Met some cool people too though, thankfully!

We went to the Lapa steps, a massive staircase of tiled steps that a crazy Chilean has been tiling for 21years, and its still not finished. They're a mossaic of tiles from all over the world, some he collected on his travels and some people have sent him. Its really beautiful. We met the artist, a 60 something year old with a big moustache.

In the same neighborhood we also went to the cathedral, its a really modern one, shaped like a cone and inside the stained glass windows are huge. Its really nice, an unusual building.

I want to live in Rio.

Belo Horizonte - a reunion with Ciaran

Out of the blue I found out that my friend Ciaran had randomly moved to Brasil. So with only 2 days notice I turned up at his doorstep having not seen each other for 2 and a half years since we were both living in Nantes.

Belo Horizonte is another big city full of sky scrapers and lots of traffic, a bit like Sao Paulo but nicer, less touristy and the people are friendlier. Its the capital of the state of Minas Gerais.

As far as the city goes there's not much to say, lots of bars, shops and cafes. Its hilly, and the weather is fantastic, it was 35 degrees when I got here. Not that much fun when there's no beach though.

The people are cheese fanatics. The state Minas Gerais has its own cheese and (apparently) it goes with everything. Never eaten so much cheese in my life!

The weekend has centered around drinking, as to be expected with an Irishman, and the bars here are really good, always full with a young crowd, good music and the drinks are cheap.

The highlight was going to Ciaran's Brasilian girlfriends's family home for a typical Sunday dinner. It was intensive Brasilian culture. There was enough food to feed an army; salads, fried chicken, lasagne, meats and of course, tons and tons of fried cheese! I'm surprised Brasilian women aren't obese with the amount of cheese they eat. The food was great and so was the entertainment. Lala, Ciaran's girlfriend, was subjected to standard parental humiliation, telling us embarassing stories from when she was little etc. Her Dad is a madman, he kept poking me to get my attention, which I found very annoying! And her Mum was lovely. I tried very hard to speak Portuguese. The whole family shout instead of speaking, getting louder and louder to make themselves heard above one another. I met the drug dealer cousin and her 9 year old cousin who was the coolest dude I have ever met and even tried it on flirting with me. It was a really fun day.

We went out to a place called Pedro Leopard, about an hour outside the city, to Ciaran's friend's family home. It was a stunning house, beautiful, massive and furnished like a rappers house off an episode of Cribs. The sound system was better than that of most nightclubs. We spent the day there in the swimming pool, drinking vodka and eating home cooked Brasilian food. It was awesome. Around the town there were hills covered in trees and a massive forest fire had started because it was so hot and dry. The entire town was covered in smoke and the whole mountain was on fire, insane. In Europe people would be trying to put the fire out, but this is Brasil...

We went up to the outer limit of BH, high up the mountains. We had a picnic lunch whilst looking out over a panoramioc view of the city, and with the trees still burning away behind us!

I've learnt that people here don't like the promiscuous 'cariocas' - the girls from Rio. And that Brasilian people speak really really loudly!

Drunk in Rio!

I've been drowning my sorrows since Ric left. It hasn't been too much of an ardious task as Rio's nightlife is amazing. Here are the highlights:

Lapa Street Party

Lapa is a not so great area of Rio and at weekends the streets fill with live music, stalls selling hotdogs and caipirinhas and x-rated Brasilian dancing. It was a great night, some unbelievable sights, cross dressers, transsexuals, half naked men and women and some of the most sexual dancing I have ever seen. I thought I was a pretty liberal person until I got to Rio. Hot pants, stilettoes, tiny revealing boob tubes and trashy make up. And the dancing, my God. I saw a sex show in Amsterdam that was tamer than the dancing on the streets of Lapa! We got friendly with a group of gays humping to the beat of the samba, they were funny and loved the attention they were getting from us gringos! There were also lots of kids running around pickpocketing people.

Favela Party

The favelas are the shanty towns that sprawl up the mountains around Rio, the police don't go there, the drug lords make the rules and its generally a pretty scary place, although in recently the police have been trying to take over control of the favelas to make the city safer in time for the olympics. So knowing all this, I decided to round up some of the people in the hostel and go to an ilegal rave there. I was shitting myself but actually, I felt really safe once I was there. It was in an underground car park, they'd set up a bar and a stage area and a couple of thousand people turned up. It was weird, all the men wore white t-shirts and had these N-Sync style rehersed dance routines. They danced in a line at the front of the stage, Brasilian gangsters shakin and shimmyin like a 90's boy band. Opposite them all the girls stood, in a line, wearing the same revealing uniform as at the street party, humping and grinding like porn stars. The space inbetween the men and the women was empty. So weird and hilarious to watch. The music was awful, rap distorted over a sound system that they'd turned up too loud. It was a dirt cheap night out, I spent about £8 and had a good laugh trying (and failing) to shake my booty like the Brasilians. On the way home on the bus we were stopped and searched twice by armed police, the locals on the bus were shouting 'gringos gringos' and two of the people I was with threw up at my feet. It was a good night.

I'm on a boat mother fucker on a boat...

I was very easily persuaded onto another big night out by the words "open bar" and "free entry for girls". Booze cruise! It was great, we sailed around the bay on this boat that had two floors. There was music, food, dancing, lots of alcohol and a view over the lights of Rio. It lasted from 11pm til 5am. I met loads of people, spoke various languages and had my first lesson in arabic thanks to my new Eygptian friends (sharmoot!) And I didn't even get sea sick.

My liver is whimpering.

Sao Paulo and a Teary Farewell to Ric Stopher

I wasn't looking forward to Sao Paulo. In fact I was dreading it because that's where Ric's South American Adventure came to an end and I got left solo again for the first time in 3 months.

We arrive at 5am from Iguazu and by 7 we were back in bed in Hostel Verguiero. A strange hostel, very few people, very basic and owned by a small chinese man who doesn't smile very often. The bus journey wasn't great and the drivers were some of the rudest I've encountered, they wouldn't turn the telly up for us even though the film was in English and they wouldn't let Ric off to smoke yet they both stood outside the bus smoking themselves! Awful people.

The city is enormous; 17 million people and skyscrapers in every direction as far as the eye can see. Yet it doesn't have the feeling of chaos that Lima has. Everything is modern and the metro system is really good. The main plaza, Praça de Sé, is really pretty in spite of it being home to the largest congreation of homeless people I've ever seen; dozens of them sat around in gangs just chillin and stinkin out the place. The centre is really busy and full of beggars, religious nuts shouting and street performers blowing their effing panpipes! Every other shop is a juice bar/bakery selling exotic fruits and funny shaped pastry things such cheese burgers hidden inside bread rolls.

South of the centre there's a huge park called Parque do Ibirapuera. It has big ponds, nice flowers and black swans (I've never seen a black swan before, I might take one home to show to the Queen!). We went on a scorcher of a day, 32 degrees, and sat in the shade eating ice lollies and trying not to melt. Behind the park you can see all the sky scrapers along the horizon, its like Central Park in New York (according to Ric, who's actually been there, I've not, but I've seen it in Friends...)

We also went to Edificio Italia, a sky scraper that's open to the public. We went to the the 40-something-th floor where you can go outside and walk around the building on this lovely viewing platform. The view is amazing, so many high rise buildings and the city seems to go on forever. You can see loads of helicopters flying from building to building and landing on the roofs, probably rich business men going to meetings. I really liked it plus we went on a really sunny clear day.

Avenida Paulista is like the main high street where all the main banks and shops are. We walked along there at night and all the buildings, even the telephone masts, were lit up different colours. We went for our final meal along there (snif snif) and had a bit of fun trying out our newly acquired Portuguese skills - we ended up with 3 beers instead of 2 and an extra portion of chips that we didn't want and couldn't finish!! 

I am well out of my comfort zone here with this Portuguese business! I've just spent 5 months in Peru, Bolivia, Chile and Argentina and before that 7 months in France, where I could speak more or less fluently and make myself understood, then I arrive in Brasil where I haven't the first idea about Portuguese! Its scary. Its written similar to Spanish so I can at least hazard a guess at signs and stuff but the pronunciation is completely different and no one understands if you speak Spanish to them! Arrrgh!

So Ric left today :( 3 whole months later than he had planned to go home! Saying goodbye was horrible. After travelling together for so long, spending every second of the day together and living in each others pockets, its a bit strange to be on my own again. I keep expecting him to walk back in.

But I'm not going to mope about. I'm goin to man up, get a tan, learn this daft language they speak here and then get my arse home to see my beautiful family, my wonderful friends and the amazing man I fell in love with in South America.

Magic Cactus' and Nightime at the Falls

In the end, we stayed 6 nights in Iguazu, 4 more than we intended. Its nice, warm and we got a good deal on the room.

So, the magic cactus... When I arrived in South America I started hearing all about this "therepy" that clenses your soul and frees all your demons. Its called San Pedro and involves drinking some slime made from boiled up cactus. In reality, the "therepy" is nothing more than a hallucinogen, like magic mushrooms, ie. magic cactus, so naturally me and Ric bought some from the witches market in La Paz (where its completely legal). We carried it around with us and smuggled it over 3 international borders until we got to Iguazu and here's what happened:

Ric, Joe and myself went and sat by the river Iguazu which divides Argentina, Brasil and Paraguay, in the gardens of a posh hotel, it was a beautiful spot with views of each country. We'd been told that drinking the cactus potion isn't a pleasant experience as it curdles into a thick goo, so instead we mixed it with a tiny bit of Orange Fanta to make pea sized balls that looked like rabbit poos, then we swallowed them with water.

For my first experience of hallucinogens it was quite underwhelming, I certainly didn't see any demons. Nonetheless the world seemed a brighter more beautiful place and we spent the whole day giggling at ridiculous things. I'm glad I tried it, its an Andean tradition remedy and something you have to do in South America.

As the moon was full whilst we were in Iguazu, me and Ric got the chance to visit the falls at night, something very few people do. It was amazing. Seeing the jungle and the waterfalls lit by moonlight was totally different to seeing them during the day, really mysterious, especially with all the spray and mist that rises from the river. And as there had been a huge storm days before the water was ten times powerful, it was an impressive sight, and of course a romantic moonlit walk :)