Just as I was beginning to live a normal life, I had the most random day ever which started with me innocently going to visit my friends and ended with me getting molestered by two French "osteopaths"!!
I had nothing to do, so I decided to go to visit the boys, and we were having a nice civilised chat when Claudine turns up... A middle aged wreck of a woman who works with the lads and often sleeps on their sofa when she cant be bothered going home to her estranged husband. She persuaded me to help with a training session being held at the centre, they needed 'volunteers' for an osteopaths training day. And I had nothing better to do so I thought - why not.
When I entered the room however the first thing they asked me (before even asking me my name!) was to strip to my bra and undies! I politely refused, due to the fact that it was freezing and they were a bunch of randomers. They a guy and a girl started poking at my head, then at the base of my spine (lowering my jeans in the process - rude!) and I started thinking 'what the hell have I got myself into here, what are these people!!'
Things got even worse when they came to the conclusion that I had an unaligned pelvis! The pair of them were chatting away in French doctor speak and all I could understand was the mention of my vagina... I was ready for doing a runner!
They poked away at my pelvis for a bit, "aligning" it (and yes all of my pelvis, it was uncomfortable!!) they even said I had a pelvis "blockage" and asked if id had any trauma to the vagaina?!?! Errm not to my knowledge...
Then much to my relief they left my bits alone and started on my feet. Yuck. Apparently by feeling the bones in my head they could tell where I had problems in the rest of my body (bear in mind I am totally sceptical about all this, I'm fairly sure I didnt have any problems of the vagina prior to today!)
So lady doc was poking my head, man doc was poking my knees, and lady doc says "J'ai un grand silence au pied a gauche" .... silence in my left foot... okaaaaaay!
Freaky thing is, they asked me whether I had foot problems when I was very young - and I did! I was born with bendy deformed feet! How did they know?! They said the bones in my left foot were so damaged it was as if a truck had driven over it years ago. They were really amazed that I'd never had any "traumas".
Apparently, they fixed me all up, by poking me all over. And now when I'm older I wont have any serious problems. Hurrah for me! The whole thing lasted over an hour and I walked out feeling bewildered and violated!
May the randomness continue...
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