French Ideology

French people have some really funny ideas about the world! Here are a few examples gained from conversations with real French people....

BSE
France's version: During the BSE epidemic in the 90's Margaret Thatcher intentionally sent mad cows over to France because she didn't like French people. France boycotted British meat. In retaliation to this England started embargo over France.
The Truth: Margaret Thatcher wasn't even in office when the epidemic broke out. No body intentionally tried to wipe out the French using infected cows. France did boycotte English beef. There has never been an embargo between England and France.

French Kissing
France's version: French people truly believe that only French people kiss with tongues. No joke. Any French man you meet will expect you to be amazed and in awe when he kisses you and uses his tongue, as if you've never experienced such sensual bliss before.
The Truth: Kissing with tongues is international, get over yourself France.

WW2
France's version: America played a bigger role in liberating France from German occupation than England did. I asked one English hating French lady why she likes American's and not Brits and this was her explanation. The USA helped us in the war and Britain didn't. Erm...
The Truth: The USA joined the war in December 1941 (two years after the start of the war) and only because Japan had bombed Pearl Harbour. England joined the war in September 1939 - right at the start!

Munch
France's version: French food is the best food in the world. English food is disgusting and Americans only eat cheese burgers.
The Truth: Dear France, you have great bakeries, an unnecessary number of cheeses and some very good food. However, you also eat frogs, snails and horses. You're too patriotic to your own cuisine (chinese, indian, thai food etc is good, give it a chance), I know that the concept of jelly gives you nightmares but its fruity and it wobbles, and yes I know some Americans are fat, but they have some good grub too, like Thanks Giving Dinner which I was lucky enough to sample recently!

Party Time
France's version: French people know how to party.
The Truth: French people's idea of partying is having a third glass of wine at the dinner table. French clubs are all the same, they all have a pretentious air to them, nobody dances before 2am, everybody drinks over priced mixers. The music is tame sub-standard house music with the odd bit of French rap thrown over the top. Until you've passed out in the toilets of a dirty sweaty indie club in Manchester where everybody drinks cheap beer and the dance floor is so crammed you can barely breath... don't try and tell me you're a 'crazy party animal' because I will drink you under the table mon ami.