Korean Magic Toilets

I’d heard about these toilets in Asia that sing and dance and do all sorts of tricks, but I wasn’t expecting to see one. I thought they were a myth, or something you only find in the most high-tech areas of Tokyo. But they’re actually quite common here!

We were in Shinsegea, a huge department store in the centre of Cheonan (not actually shopping, just enjoying the air conditioning) and I found the most high-tech of toilets I have ever seen. It had a panel of buttons: some had pictures, the rest written in Korean: heated seat, music, water spray, blow dry and one button with a picture of lightening on it - I didn’t press that one!

I was very excited and wanted to take a picture to show my friends, so I bobbed down and pressed the water spray button, ready with my camera. I was expecting a gentle spray of water from the little pipe that popped out of nowhere – not the raging torrent that came out! The water shot over my head and hit the door behind me, rebounding and soaking all of my back, before rushing down the door like a waterfall and forming a river on the floor which flowed under the door and out into the rest of the room. It wouldn’t stop!!

Soaked and ashamed, I rushed past the queue of people waiting to use my cubicle and ran straight out of the toilets. I sped straight past Ric, telling him to “run!” on my way past and then burst out laughing.

Just as the torrent hit my back

So many buttons!

Mortified, I realised I had left my sunglasses in the cubicle and had to go back and revisit the scene of the crime.  

Our First Week in Korea

After travelling for over 30 hours, with no sleep, we arrived at Incheon airport and met our agent, Doyle, who told us ‘Korean people very hurry up’ – I think he was hinting at us to get a move on. Doyle didn’t speak very much English and quite clearly just wanted to get rid of us and get his commission.

All we wanted to do was to lie down, anywhere, and sleep. But we had to go straight to the school and meet people. Then finally we were shown to our apartment.

Our New Home

Our apartment is so much nicer than either of us had expected. It’s much bigger too. We’ve turned the living room into a bedroom-come-living room as it’s the only room with air conditioning, and we’ve even made a “chaise-bed” out of our spare bed. We’re are using the little bedroom as a walk-in wardrobe. There’s plenty of room for the two of us. I love it!

When people warned us about getting culture shock when we arrived here I didn’t expect it to happen to me, I’ve lived abroad before, I’ve travelled loads; but it really is a whole different world here.

Cultural Differences

• If you go into a building, you have to take your shoes off. This means in restaurants everyone is barefoot, and at work we teach wearing our slippers.
• In restaurants you sit on the floor.
• There’s a certain way to pour a drink, and a certain way to receive a drink. You cannot pour yourself a drink.
• When somebody gives you something you have to accept it with two hands. Where you put your hands is determined by how well you know the person and how polite you wish to be.
• Eating with you hands is social suicide. Eating with a knife is unheard of. For the first three days I was very hungry because I couldn’t operate a pair of chopsticks. I’m getting better though.
• Flagging a taxi as we would in England is rude, instead you have to make a kind of camp flappy hand gesture. You never, ever, get in or out of a taxi on the driver’s side.
• You bow to greet people.

The first week has been non-stop. We went out every night: meal with the boss, meal with all the other teachers, drinks with the other teachers, a meal just the two of us… and I’ve been observing all week at school so I didn’t even get chance to recover from my jet lag until weekend.

Me and Ric getting into the spirit

And now is my first day of teaching!!! Wish me luck!

Packing for a Year in Korea

How do you pack for a year? Seriously? 

Most of my friends (Stacey Groom and Jennifer Edwards I mean you!!!) can't even pack for a weekend away without needing a removals van for their things, I can't imagine them having to pack for a year. I'm excellent at travelling light thanks to having to carry my life in a backpack for so long, but now, presented with a baggage allowance of 23kilos I'm a bit unsure what to do!

Through talking to our future colleagues and friends who are already in South Korea I made the following list of things that I NEED to pack:

• Clothes and shoes suitable for extremely hot summers and extremely cold winters 
• Enough clothes and shoes to last me 12 months as Koreans are short petite people and I'm a 6ft giant, ie. I won't be able to find clothes or shoes to fit me over there!
• Nothing low cut (tough luck Korea)
• Deodorant  (uncommon/crap/expensive in Korea)
• Toothpaste (I've heard its sugary, foul tasting and doesn't contain fluoride)
• Tampons  (uncommon/crap/expensive in Korea)
• Suncream (contains bleach (?!) and is only available in factor 30+)
• Cheese  (uncommon/crap/expensive in Korea)
• Chocolate  (uncommon/crap/expensive in Korea)
• Slippers (no outdoor shoes inside)
• Bedding 

So, with a years supply of the above, plus the stuff I actually need (tea bags) I managed to amass about 40kilos of luggage! I've thrown away 6 bin bags of clothes but it just keeps coming!

I'll probably get there and realise I've got enough toothpaste to brush my teeth constantly for a decade, but I've totally neglected to pack any underwear.

So... the finished products:

My Life, 1 little back pack, 1 suitcase full of tampons and toothpaste

My sad lonely wardrobe

The Debacle of Getting a Korean Visa

Five Weeks Ago...
Once we had signed our contracts we had to get out degree certificates and police checks notarised and apostiled before sending them to Korea. You have to get a lawyer to do this and typically it is a very expensive process. Our lawyer, Anne, considering she must be earning at least £70,000 a year, was little more than incompetent. She didn't know that she had to send the original documents off to be apostiled by the Foreign Common Wealth Office [it's not like its her job or anything]. So all our papers went to London, came back up to Huddersfield with a note saying they had not been apostiled, and then had to make the journey again, taking two weeks instead of one. All that for the tidy sum of £260. Thanks Anne.

Two Weeks Ago...
After shipping everything off to Korea via UPS (£50 but very efficient) we eventually received a visa application number from the immigration office in Seoul. Then it was up to us to send our passports to the Korean Embassy in London. That should have been the easy bit. However, when I called the embassy to ask about payment and just to generally confirm the process and reassure myself that we were doing everything right, I was confronted with the most unhelpful organisation I have ever dealt with. "I can not confirm anything, please consult the website" is the standard response I received to numerous questions I asked over the two weeks it took to get the visas. Sometimes they would just mutter something in pigeon English and then hang up. So, with scarce information on the website, we sent our passports with a cheque for £80.

10 Days Ago...
"We don't accept cheque" said the Korean voice on the phone. Another panic, a rush to find a post office and send £80 to the embassy, this time in cash.

Yesterday...
The visa should take five working days to process, according to the unhelpful Korean accent on the phone who reluctantly disclosed a snippet of information. But with a double bank holiday to waste millions of tax payer's money celebrating the jubilee of a non-elected Queen, we had missed out on two working days. When I called the embassy (Wednesday) with only 2 working days left for them to issue my visa, post it, and for it to ger back to Manchester I was told "We cannot provide tracking information for your visa. If it is not sent tomorrow you have to come to London". They refused to tell me if the visa had been issued.

Today...

I dreamt that the postman came and I signed for my passport, so relieved, only to open it up and they'd sent the wrong passport back. Instead of my details on the photo page it was a Chinese man called Won Wood. I woke up in a panic still unsure whether it was real or not. I barely took my eyes off the front door all morning, knowing that special delivery would have to come before 1 o'clock. Never in my life have I been so interested in the post arriving. The postman, blissfully unaware of my tense morning, sauntered up at 12.40 with only 20 minutes to spare. I grabbed the package out of his hands before he'd even reached the door and all my stress was gone.

I HAVE MY PASSPORT AND VISA. I AM GOING TO KOREA IN THREE DAYS!!!!!

I'm so happy now, I hate leaving things last minute but there was no other option really considering we only got the jobs six weeks ago.

A Proper British Day Out to Southport

The beach at Southport, considering it is a seaside resort, is probably the town's least attractive feature.

Today, Ric and I went on a proper British summer day out. We got up early, packed our picnic in our cool-bag, and got the train to the seaside.

Now don't get me wrong, I have been to Southport before, I did not expect white sandy beaches, nor did I expect to see the sea, but still I managed to be slightly appalled at the state of the beach. After the considerable walk from the train station to the beach, we finally sat down and unpacked out chicken butties, sausage rolls and pork pies - just like I used to with my grandparents when I was younger. The food was nice in spite of the group of teenage boys that decided to play rugby right over our heads, the stale fishy smell that came off the sand, and the smoking, drinking, swearing pregnant Mum's parading up and down the sea front. It wasn't quite  the way I remembered it as a child.

Enjoying my picnic

The Gardens

Abandoning our plans for a chilled day on the beach we walked out to the sea (yes, it is possible), got an ice cream, and went to the gardens just behind the beach. The gardens are much nicer. A big pond, well-kept lawns, lots of greenery and places to sit - it was no wonder all the pensioners had set up camp on the grass instead of on the beach - there was even a Tom Jones tribute playing in a nearby fish and chip shop!

We did all the standard 'Day at the Beach' activities: fish and chips, arcades, souvenir shops - and had a very lovely day. Even Southport town centre is pleasant to walk around - its quaint and has a good range of shops.

 Proof that there is sea at Southport

To top off the British summer day out we even got sunburnt, even though I took suncream in my handbag! I don't know what it is about English people in the sun, as soon as it comes out we're out lapping it up, but we never take care of our skin the way we would abroad. So now I look like an over-cooked gammon.

Footprints Recruiting - Review

My boyfriend and I applied to teach in South Korea with Footprints Recruiting. Their website boasted wonderful reviews, excellent service, a world famous reputation and a company represented as an experienced and dedicated team of well travelled professionals.

Unfortunately the service we received was abysmal. When we first signed up and applied to Footprints they were pretty quick to respond and Skype interviews were arranged the same week. The interviews went great and the friendly guy on the phone gushed about the "personal co-ordinator" who would guide us through our EPIC application and be there to answer all of our questions. We were thrilled, especially as the EPIC programme is pretty complicated with regards to the quantity of information and documents that you are required to send over to Korea.

That Skype call was the last personalised communication we received from Footprints. In the two months that followed we applied for positions in the EPIC programme and awaited a response from Footprints. Nothing.

After a couple of weeks we sent a follow up email requesting confirmation that Footprints had received our EPIC applications. Nothing.

We posted questions on the forums. No answer. [update: we received a reply 5 months later, when we were already in Korea teaching!]

We did receive numerous generic, unrelated emails that began "Hi everyone!"

When we finally received a relevant response from Footprints (two months later), we were told that we could not apply for EPIC as a couple, and that we would have to apply separately and risk being placed at opposite ends of the country. This was a lie, the EPIC programme does accept people applying as a couple, in fact it is encouraged. I believe that Footprints had neglected our application until it was too late to apply.

Footprints suggested an alternative public schools programme in Korea, but could not guarantee that we would be able to apply as a couple.

By that stage we'd lost all faith. 4 months had passed since we first contacted Footprints and were weren't a single step closer to going to Korea. We'd wasted so much time applying to Footprints, applying for EPIC, sending emails, posting on forums, gathering our documents... it was very discouraging. We decided to look for a job through a private recruiter, and started our search on Craigslist.

We sent one email, to one recruiter; a Korean man named Doyle Kim. Within minutes he'd replied with a job opening for two people. He arranged phone interviews for the next day and once we'd done them he had our contracts sent over just 4 days later.  By then end of the week we'd accepted the jobs and were ready to send our documents over to Korea.

Footprints Recruiting are unorganised, unhelpful, unprofessional, a massive disappointment and a waste of time.

Steph and Ric are Going to Korea!

WE HAVE TEACHING JOBS IN SOUTH KOREA AND WE'RE GOING IN 5 WEEKS!!!!!

We got our teaching certificates, we are now qualified EFL teachers. After applying to Footprints recruiting and getting no where, Ric and I took matters into our own hands and applied to an agent in Korea. The agent, Doyle, is a bit odd, his emails are rather suspect, but we've spoken to the teachers we are replacing and everything sounds legit. Within a week of contacting Doyle we'd had interviews and been sent a contract.

We're going to teach English in a private school called Wonderland, in Cheonan, a city in the north west of South Korea

I've handed in my notice and have only got 10 days left of work. That way I'll have three weeks holiday before starting in South Korea.

The whole process of applying is complicated, lots of documents are needed and they have to be notarized and apostiled and sent to Korea.

Fingers crossed we'll get everything sorted in time!

Dubrovnik, Croatia

Holidays with Meat and Pea!

We haven't been away together for two years (it took that long to recover after Amsterdam) so this holiday was much anticipated. Its also our last trip together before I buggar off to the other side of the world again.

We got off to a good start by drinking wine in the airport and almost missing our flight. We played "I'm thinking of a person, who am I?" on the plane, which lead to us giving Stace a geography lesson about the "ethnic majorities" in the Caribean, which Stacey thought was in Africa.

We made friends with the driver of the shuttle bus from the airport and he let us sit on the very front pull-downs seats. He gave me the microphone to sing along to Whitney Houston and let me announce the stops.

Our hostel was in Pile, 5 minutes away from the old town. Its called Villa Garden but I think Villa Allotment would be better suited. The room was noisy and had no curtains but it was clean and the shower was decent.

Our First Night

We got to the hostel for 7 and were out for just after 8. We had a slap up meal and one of the best steaks I've ever tasted at a fancy restaurant called Dominos. At the end of the meal the waiter brought us traditional Croatian shots, Travarica, a disgustingly strong grappa that nearly made me spew my steak back onto my plate as soon as it made contact with my taste buds.

We went to some bars and sat outside drinking cocktails listenin to the live music, then went in a very smoky, not-very-Irish rock bar where we met some Croatians who got us trying yet another 'traditional' Croatian shot, Medica, which is made from honey and was slightly more palatable.

The Croatians, Senia, a crazy girl that kept flicking her pony tail at us, and her two pals, took us to a club called Capitana and we had an amazing night dancing to rock music. The evening ended with Stacey doing yoga down a little back ally and me bent double with stomach cramps, probably from the traditional poison and all the laughing!

Walking the Walls

After a restful 4 hours sleep we were woken by the hostel owner shouting outside our door and the sun blinding us through the curtainless window. We had a lovely breakfast in the sunshine and a wander around the town. The old town is a big walled city with really narrow streets and terracota roofs. We did the walk of the city walls which had beautiful views of the town and the surrounding coastline. It took most of the afternoon and we took it at a nice chilled pace.

The Night with the CIA Loser Agent

After a lovely sunset meal overlooking the sea we were sat enjoying a quiet drink when a middle aged man called Andy came over and started making small talk and telling us horrendous jokes in a terrible Scottish accent. He was the kind of a guy that gives Americans their bad rep for being annoying self centered idiots. He started showing us his homeland security badge and telling us how to take out a man using two moves. He's going to take Jen to the olympics and she's going to meet Scotland Yard. We'll never know if the badge was real or not but the man was crackers. Two Turkish boys joined us, they were tour guides and told us all about Dubrovnik. We went around a few bars with our new band of merry men and then left them for a quiet drink on our own on our way home. But... there's no such thing as a quiet drink on our own, we attract weirdos like flies to shit. Our quiet drink was disturbed by a lanky Russian with ferret-like features who smelt like sardines. Alex was his name, he owned the bar and merrily kept topping up our glasses with free Amaretto ("Alex present"). His English was about as good as my Russian and he kept telling us his wife was a lesbian and he was gay. Random night.

Lopud

On Monday we got the bus to the port then got on a boat to the island of Lopud. There are over 1000 little islands off the coast of Dubrovnik; Lopud is one of thee bigger ones with a population of 260. Once we got to the island we had to get to the other side, where the beach was. We chose what in hindsight, was not the fastest route. We climbed hundreds of steps up a mountain in the blistering heat. It was worth it though, the view from the top was lovely and there was no one else there. It was really peaceful. It took a while but we finally made it to the beach. The sea was crystal clear and the sand was golden. We spent the day there, had a picnic, and swam in the sea. It was like our own paradise until a swarm of Americans and started running around screaming. We found a much easier route back to the boat through the forrest.

Monday Night

We left the beach with third degree burns and went out for tea to a restaurant that had good food and terrible service. I had cevapcipci, a traditional Croatian dish. It was little kofta-like sausages made from beef. They were very tasty.

Later, we were sat drinking wine outside one of the bars when we saw our Turkish friends again, minus the awful American. The five of us went for drinks and then went dancing to a club called Fuego, a "latino" club that played awful (non-latino) music.

Famous Pants

On our last day we had long leisurely lunch by the port. We ordered far too much food and couldn't finish it. I was wearing my big multi coloured happy pants that I'd worn on the first night. To my surprise, as I crossed the street in front of hundreds of tourists, a pair of knickers fell out of the bottom on my pants! The same ones I had worn on the first night. I must have left them in there and walked around with them in my pants all day! Embarassing.

We took a cable car up a mountain. As we waited, a 30-strong crowd of Asian tourists gathered round me, staring and laughing. I soon realised why, as one cheeky woman asked if she could take a picture of my trousers! Of course, I obliged.

At the top of the mountain Jen fell asleep and Stacey whimpered in the corner in the shade. I went exploring. The views were lovely and it was very peaceful.

It was a gorgeous holiday, I really like Dubrovnik, although I think four days there is enough as its a small place.

Martha Tilston, Birmingham

My birthday present off Ric was to go and watch Martha Tilston play at the Kitchen Garden Cafe in Birmingham. Her albums were the sound track to many a sleepless night spent on buses in South America and her songs hold many happy memories for us.

We got the train down and eventually found our hotel, that was in fact a pub, called the Moseley Arms. We were greeted by a very matter-of-fact brum woman who told us we had to have a twin, even though we'd booked a double room.

Birmingham seems to be centered around the Bull Ring shopping centre, its the main attraction, along with a technological out-of-space themed Selfridges building. We mooched about and saw the "famous landmark" bull.

Birmingham has a very interesting mix of buildings and super modern architecture. Although by far the nicest area is around the canals, the "heart" of the Uk's canal network. It was sunny and there were lots of nice bars on the water front. We had some drinks in a place called the Malt House and then went to the Chinese Quarter for a slap up chinky dinner.

The actual gig was in a cafe/restaurant/shop/garden centre and about 100 people were crammed into a little room on an assortment of garden furniture. We managed to get seats of the second row. The venue was lovely, bit weird, as everything was for sale and there were potatoes for sale outside, but it had a wholesome, homely feel.

The supporting act was a really dry humoured lad called Chris Cleavley who was good and made me laugh. 

Martha Tilston's set actually blew me away, her voice is so amazing. She played some new stuff that I hadn't heard, and was chatty and laid back, making jokes with the audience. I really love her songs because they tell stories, they feel personal rather than the standard generic lyrics that make up most pop music. Even better, she introduced each song saying what it meant and how she came to write it.

The absolute highlight though was when she played Artifical. Its one of mine and Ric's favourites, I love it because its about working in an office, and how it can be totally unmotivating and soul destroying doing something that means nothing to you, just to pay the bills. Turns out that song is actually about temping, and Martha herself was a temp. She asked the audience and when I said that I was a temp she dedicated the song to me!

Unfortunately the quiet little pub we were booked into turned into some kinda of 16year old's mosher disco and uninspiring base was blasted at us through the floorboards until 3am! So we didn't get very much sleep. 

On the whole though it was a bloody lovely trip.

18 + 6

I recently turned 24, I have a grown up job, I pay bills, my friends are getting married and my little brother has a baby. Does that make me a grown up?

Naaaah.

Jake is the most gorgeous child I have ever seen. He has grown two little teeth (front, bottom), learnt to roll over and has started eating real food. His smile is pure innocence. I love him.

England is awful as ever. Current scams include Tesco making unemployed teenagers work as slaves; they have this "agreement" with the dole office where kids go and work in Tesco and only get their dole money (£50/week), its exploitation. They also have these apprenticeships which are basically an excuse to pay way under minimum wage (£3/hr!) I think its disgusting. There's massive unemployment problems in the country and multimillion companies like Tesco are taking advantage of the situation, using it as an excuse to pay a pittance. The other scandal is the Tories trying to privatise the NHS with these new reforms that they're conveniently not consulting doctors and hospitals about. There's a lot of secrecy around the reforms that I think makes me suspicious.

Mum and Dad seem to be happy in Spain, they say they're not bored but they ring us a lot and they've started decorating their new house! Sometimes I miss them because there was more order at home under my mum's reign, and things got fixed when they broke when dad was here. But generally speaking living with Gaz, Amy and Jake is much more pleasent than I anticipated. In fact, Gaz is much more of a grown up than me now he's a daddy himself, and has takin on the moaning and grumpiness like a natural!