Making it to Marseille

Today I woke up in Mulhouse, had lunch in Paris and went to bed in Marseille!! How amazing is my life? I’m super shattered though. Today was also a day for me doing ridiculous things, you’ll see.

Me and Danny got the train from Mulhouse at half 8 this morning, it took 3 hours and was pretty uneventful. When we arrived in Paris I was bursting for the loo and thats when I did my first daft thing of the day!

MY STUPID LIFE PART I: The queue for the ladies in the train station was about 25 people long and it was boiling and I really couldn’t wait, so… I spotted that in the baby changing area there were tiny kiddy toilets, they were just like stalls with no doors but I thought, “why not?” So, in front of a queue of 25-30 French women I dropped my shorts and peed in a toilet not more than 10 inches high. And I found it hilarious. The French however were aghast and just looked on in horror! If it had have been England I think over people would have been inspired by my clever idea and would have followed suit, but we’re not in England. Danny was quite amused though J

We left the station and had a little wander (and lovely Daniel helped me with my luggage, what a gent!) and we found a nice café to have lunch. It was just a cheese and ham omelette but it was really nice.

Then we got on the metro and I left Danny (he was going to Montparnass to get a train to Rennes) and I found my way to Porte Malliot where I had to get my bus.

MY STUPID LIFE PART II: I got off the metro and had to find the bus to take me to Beauvais airport but Paris is a pretty big place. Anyway I ended up getting my times wrong and I thought it was an hour later than it was, meaning I only had 20 minutes to find the bus stop, buy my ticket and get on the bus. So I was rushing about, with 30kilos of luggage in the 28 degree heat and I literally ran to the bus station, sweating cobs!! Then when id bought my ticket I realised I was an hour early!! And I was gasping for breath and nackered. I laughed, because if I didn’t I would have cried!!

MY STUPID LIFE PART III: I decided that id use my spare hour to go for a wee and freshen up a bit, and the nearest place that had a toilet just so happened to be the Concorde 5* hotel… As I walked towards the hotel I noticed that the cars parked outside were all Mercedes and Porches and other fancy shiny ones, I noticed the fancy men in red coats opening the door for people, and I noticed that everyone in the vicinity was wearing Chanel suits and looked very very posh (even posher than Jenny!!) And there was me approaching, sweating, wild haired, with my dusty pink suit case and my old stained back pack, wearing primark shorts, £3 flip flops from Matalan and a vest top! I considered turning away, but then I thought “sod it”, I held my head high, walked in the door, smiled at the red coat man and entered the poshest hotel I’ve ever stepped foot in. A man with an earpiece and a walkie talkie gave me a very dubious look, I assume he was security, but I didn’t let it phase me, I gave him a smile and headed straight for the toilets. And then I burst out laughing!

Finally got on the bus, and went to Paris Beauvais airport, which is about as near to Paris as it is to Manchester. Took well over an hour on the bus! And when I got there… it’s the size of Jenny’s en suite!!! I had to pay the wicked Ryanair woman 20euros because I was one kilo over – I know I could have worn some more clothes but it really is boiling and I already had my massive Salford hoody round my waste. I thought better just pay it than die of heat exhaustion.

MY STUPID LIFE PART IV: I decided I’d get changed out of my mucky shorts and flip flops and put something a bit more presentable on (for meeting my new family), I opted for a skirt, tights and ankle boots (I know I said its boiling but this was also to take some of the weight out of my backpack which weighs 15kilos on its own and was hurting my shoulders!!) However, I couldn’t see any toilets and to be honest I couldn’t be bothered looking for them and dragging my backpack around unnecessarily, so basically I just got changed right in the middle of the check-in lounge in front of a good hundred people. After peeing publicly in the train station I really didn’t care anymore.

So I suppose I’ve done some pretty silly things today that normal people wouldn’t do.